Becoming a Devoted Salary Woman in Japan ← From a Pampered Indian Child!
How living in a country that demands perfection has changed me
I was pampered and not spoilt when I was growing up under the guidance of my grandparents. They instilled in me many good qualities such as discipline. Every day I used to go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at around 4:30 a.m. I would then go to a park near our house in New Delhi at 5 a.m. to do yoga with my grandfather, which was free as many morning sessions held in public parks in India are.
My grandparents taught me to be respectful towards the elderly and kind to others. I still have a softer side for elderly people partially because I spent my childhood years with two old people in the same house — my grandfather and his brother. I had good exposure to his political life and he took me to some cool places like a famous news show.
Life was largely good and fun with few days of nervousness during exams and tests, but if I look back it was intense and surrounded by love.
But the same life took a big turn after I joined a Japanese company …
Appreciation and praise changed to being pointed at for making mistakes because even small mistakes have a price to pay in Japan. Japanese companies take minute mistakes very seriously, but in my case they were many because of my careless and messy nature.
I in no way deny that I have gained many good experiences while working in the Japanese media. I had opportunities to interact with a wide range of people, including government officials, financial market analysts and even employees at departmental stores and know the back story. But I feel that I have lost my charm and spark as I am growing old.
Probably many of us feel so. Irrespective of the countries we live in, we go through many transitions as we age. We become more mature, responsible, and to be honest, more boring, but on a positive note we also become more calm.
I sometimes wonder if it is different for people who live in their own countries. Do they deal with problems in a better manner as they have a safe environment with family and friends? Probably not. Being surrounded by our own people during problems might not be the best answer as we need space to comprehend the situation.
But what happens when we are in a country like Japan?
Where people are quiet, love is expressed rarely and encouragement is even rare, not that it is completely absent. We are often reminded to 頑張る — to do one’s best and be alert and cautious.
Sure, that is important as nothing happens unless we try our best, but is this enough?
Are we are losing something precious inside us in the process of growing?
There is probably a trade-off between becoming mature and dropping our childlike qualities, including pure emotions.
These days I see pure emotions only when I speak to homeless people on the Tokyo streets. I am not exaggerating even a tiny bit. When they smile and speak, it is purity at its best. A childlike purity.
I have not lived in a foreign country other than Japan for long so I can only compare India and Japan. In Japan, one will often find words such as 警告、止まれ、危険, words mean warning, stop, and danger. They are everywhere from hot water taps in the bathrooms to the outdoor lawns.
Yes, it is very nice to have these warnings to avoid accidents, but these words tell a lot about the Japanese society. They show that you are not allowed to make accidents, if you do then…
India is a country where I have never seen these warnings anywhere near as many times as in Japan, and people make mistakes back home with no such big alarms. Mistakes are not good, but they are also not super bad, either. You make mistakes, you learn, forget and move on, or maybe you just do something else.
I surely make fewer mistakes now than I did when I started working almost 9 years ago. It is amazing how I have also started carefully checking numbers many a times now “nervously”.
However, nothing is perfect. Due to this habit of avoiding making mistakes, Japan lags behind many countries in building startups as people are afraid to take challenges and make mistakes. Most of people want to live a safe salaryman life. The situation however is changing slowly with more startups coming into the picture.
But talking personally, sometimes I wonder whether I am becoming a simple, devoted and boring salary woman from a more creative, happy and jolly person? Or I am just growing? Honestly speaking I think it is both.
Or even better. Probably I am yet to become the best of both worlds after many setbacks, if any such thing ever exists!
Love and peace,
Supriya
