Spirit Oblations (Hanzaki)
(Monstrous Yokai fish and what to get them for New Year!)
It has come to my attention that certain people consider yokai (and other supernatural creatures) metaphors for human beings or even simply imaginary!
Well…we here at Afterpants we fundamentally deny this idea! After all, you can’t have monsters in underpants if there are no monsters, right???
Regardless, I will try to keep my story telling selections to supernatural beings that are either wholly or mostly animal/vegetable or mineral in description to make 100% sure they are not mistaken for humans or fairy tales…
Anyway…today, our tale of the mysterious and polished cotton names “Hanzaki” as the yokai in question.
What is a hanzaki? Why…a giant, ghostly salamander of course!
It seems that long ago, during the late 1500’s, a hanzaki had taken up residence in a deep lake. Understandably, the poor creature was quite hungry. It takes a lot to feed a very big monster! It would eat passing cows, horses and even villagers!
(According to my sources…humans are crunchier…so…)
The villagers weren’t very happy with this arrangement. They whined and complained that the hanzaki (we’ll call him Aida because I like that name) was simply too big and were unable to see the natural protection that Aida gave, simply by living near their village! They gave no thought to the possibility that they may be set upon by bandits or a rival samurai clan and sent away for a mail order “hero” to “slay the monster.”
Imagine the cliché…just awful!
Well…a few showed up but were quickly dispatched by our brave supernatural water-dweller until one named Hikoshiro came to town and “vowed to slay…yada yada yada…” (It makes one wonder whether people actually recognize exposition of self-caricature.)
As you can imagine, the “good guy” split our hanzaki in twain and got all the credit…but…HAHAHA! There’s a little bit of justice for the salamander after all! (And also, yet another lovely reference to Japanese cryptids not staying in one category.)
So…Hikoshiro goes home after his “victory” and strange things begin to happen…ghostly knocks, floorboards creaking in the night, etc…then…his entire family dies mysteriously!
The local priests declare that Aida has become a yurei possessed of a Grudge and thus, a shrine is erected to Aida and it troubles the humans no more!
I find this story interesting as it displays one of the qualities I enjoy so much about Japanese folklore…that being: the hero isn’t always the good guy, the monster doesn’t always die and one is left with the singular idea that attacking supernatural creatures is definitely a bad idea!!!
In terms of underwear metaphor…obviously, this story is the WHOLE package (no pun intended). It’s a solid t-shirt, y-front brief combo complete with a model to show it off!
But…what to get the giant, ghost salamander that has everything???
Well, obviously…if you have a kamidana…the shelf is probably a bit small, so you have to do things in miniature. Aida (or perhaps a relative who has also been slain by a self-righteous a@@hole) will very much like a toy or wooden horse, cow or person!
But you’re probably thinking…Taro! That might be alright for your average Joe just trying to get along with the spirit world but I’d like to REALLY make a difference.
Well, to show your appreciation of this spirit taking up residence around your home or office…you can always throw it a party!
And lastly…of course…it might appreciate some Afterpants…I mean underpants…I mean Afterpants!!!
This article is the 4th I’ve written for Japonica! If you enjoyed it, please feel free to run over to my Wix site and read some of my other stuff. Also, I will be making references in these posts to “Farus Ars Media”, Yurei House Clothing, Afterpants (the name of my blog & Twitter acct., Kenji Cards, Shoko’s Afterlife Guide, and “The Curvy Dead”. All of these things are entirely fictional/satirical in nature. If you look around my blog long enough, you’ll figure it out.
