The Myth that Japanese Dislike Foreigners
How our biases cause misunderstandings
The other day, I was in a Clubhouse room discussing the reasons people want to move back to Japan, and the hoops they needed to jump through in order to achieve that.
While we were talking about the bureaucratic rings of fire and the impact of the political events on the easing of the border restrictions, a person from the audience raised his hand and came up on stage. Cutting straight to the point, he said, “We all need to acknowledge the fact that no matter how much we want to live and work there, the Japanese hate foreigners.”
I cringed as memories of my first month in Japan rushed into my head. I recalled how hurt I was when my Japanese husband’s friends organized a welcome-home party for him but didn’t invite me. And then there was the time that my in-laws excluded me from discussions about our attendance at a relative’s wedding because “it was a family matter.”
Under these circumstances, many uninitiated foreigners might be inclined to say, “See, I told you!”
But after twenty years of living and working in Japan, I am now confident that what we Westerners often believe comes from hate is, in fact, a deep-rooted desire to avoid awkward situations that might cause embarrassment to many others down the…
