Welcome to Ghosterpants!
(A subsidiary column of Afterpants and Yurei House Clothing LTD)
(oh! oh! Look at the neat pattern I gave these briefs! All perfectly public domain and delightfully ghosty!!!)
Ghosterpants will put a greater emphasis on the types of spirits discussed and a lesser on the offerings one should make to them. After all, from Egypt to Tokyo, the ancient way is to simply put out a spread for the spirit…be they malevolent and demonic, sweet and helpful, god-like, tiny as your thumb, angry or cheerful…all the spirits everywhere like a good party, especially if they are the honored guest!
(Side note: As I am still homeless I am trying to get monetized for my writing , if you ever felt like there was a worthy cause to like/follow, maybe you (the readers) could spread the word about Ghosterpants/Afterpants…quickly….and with gusto!!! Domo arigato gozaimasu )
Before I begin talking about today’s spirit, I’d like to mention a fantastic book from one N.T. Reider.
It’s a scholastic paper, really…but you know…whatever.
The title is “Japanese Demon Lore: Oni From Ancient Times To The Present.”
It’s available for free at: https://digitalcommons.usu.edu/usupress_pubs/59/
It’s brilliant…really!
Today’s yokai is called a kappa! Now, plenty has been written about kappa: kappa lore as well as a host of merchandise, video games and tacky knickknacks. These yokai are incredibly popular in Japan.
As you may be unfamiliar with the topic, a cursory glance at the being looks like this:
Kappa are water spirits. They generally dwell in rivers or lakes (but are said to winter in the mountains.)
They come in a wide variety of shapes and colors but normally are said to be green, somewhat reptilian, and to possess a wide bowl shaped indentation on the tops of their heads which holds water. This water is written about in stories as the ‘source of their power’ and any conflict with the kappa is to be resolved simply by bowing. The kappa view themselves as quite polite and therefore will have no other choice but to bow in return, thereby spilling the water and causing instant infirmity.
As I’ve mentioned before, specifically in my last entry, I do not believe that yokai are metaphors for human behavior, or merely fairy tales.
That said…on to the fairy tales!!! Lol.
There are many tales about the kappa a few of which I will summarize here.
In one story, there is a kappa in a certain lake near a farm.
Fortunately for the kappa, the farmer has many horses from which he can sup.
One day, however, the greedy farmer catches the poor kappa and removes his arm!
Imagine that…not only does the farmer not recognize the inherent spiritual nature of the kappa, but refuses to feed him and THEN cuts off the poor thing’s arm. I mean…talk about a Disney villain!
Well…the kappa (we’ll call him Fuse because it’s a lovely name) acquiesces and follows the selfish farmer back to his house, imploring him to return his arm.
The farmer agrees to return the long-suffering kappa’s arm in exchange for a favor.
(Again…greed, spiritual ignorance, dismemberment AND blackmail! What a loser!)
Fuse (our water dwelling hero) agrees to teach the farmer the arts of medicine and even plow his field in return for his arm, essentially becoming an indentured servant. Tsk tsk little Fuse….
Anyway, the arm is reattached and the farmer becomes a wealthy physician.
Another story comes from the south of Japan and relates the tale of a town alderman who, one rainy night, sees a little boy walking along in the storm by a bridge.
The man thinks “brave kid to be out in this” and shouts, “Hey, kid! What are you doing out here?”
The kid says nothing, but turns his face towards the alderman. The man is shocked to see a scaly, green face with a big reptilian eyes.
The man is so frightened he runs past the kappa and when he gets home, thinks, “I see now kappa really DO exist!”
There are several common defamatory characteristics amoung kappa stories. (BTW…as a writer, I decided a long time ago that my misspelling of the word “among” would stand.)
1. Kappa are responsible for missing cattle…an interesting parallel with ‘UFO’ stories but I suspect the older the story, the more truth there is to it.
(Ghosterpants does not endorse any stories of aliens or UFO’s.)
2. Kappa are rapists
(Again…similar stories exist of wood nymphs and minor gods capable of such things in the west.)
(I believe this displays a fear of the supernatural versus any reality. I mean…have you seen naked humans? They’re really not all that attractive.)
3. Kappa drown children. (As with ALL water spirits, blame is cast on the yokai dwelling in the feature versus human error!)
4. Kappa want a “magic ball” that resides in your bum called a shikodama. (Really??? I mean…really really?)
This is not to say that kappa are not strong, fast and dangerous! Apparently a single kappa is stronger than a group of young, strapping men so…that…
Regardless of their sordid past or propaganda thrown at them, they’ve become what I consider to be the very symbol of yokai everywhere! Some may disagree, claiming that it is the kitsune or tanuki (we’ll go over those spirits in later issues) but for this author, the kappa is yokai par-excellence. The epitome of yokainess! The big dog! The penultimate yokai of…well, you get the point!
Again, I remind my readers that this is a Yokai Safe Space…the only judgments here are for those stupid humans that are simply afraid and run screaming into the night…I mean…honestly…we’re only supernatural creatures! It’s not like we’re trying to eat your face off…oh wait…some of us are…but never mind them!
Lastly…Ghosterpants will continue the longstanding tradition of comparing each spirit to a type of underwear.
These yokai are OG of legend. They wouldn’t tolerate being compared to boxers OR briefs! You better throw on a fundoshi and offer them one, too!
Offering: If you think you have a kappa on your hands, the best thing to do is put out sake and cucumbers. Actually, most yokai like sake but the cucumber is specific to the kappa legend.
Also, other than liking and forwarding this article, you could also get me a bunch of kappa merch, some sake and cucumbers as well!
This is my 5th article for Japonica but my first in the new series “Ghosterpants” where I’ll be taking the occupation of “yokai reporter” more seriously and discussing topics/providing content that’s a little more dark and disturbing. If this article was too much for you, please feel free to peruse my previous column “Spirit Oblations.” It’s more light-hearted. If the ‘ghost underwear’ motif works for you please follow me here @ Medium and also join me on Twitter @Afterpants1. Other pieces are available at my Wix site.
