What Do Japanese Women Really Want?
Does feminism mean greater hardship and less freedom in Japan?
When I first came to Japan on the JET Program at the height of the bubble years, I visited Japanese public high schools. I remember asking at least one girl what she wanted to do in the future, and was stunned when she replied, “Be a good wife and mother.”
Growing up in America in the 1970s and 80s, I had never once been under the impression that my future was dependent upon finding a husband. My parents raised me with the expectation that I would go to college and get a good job. If I had ever declared to my peers that I aspired to be a housewife or stay-at-home-mom (like my own mother), I would have been ridiculed.
Back then, Japanese people still spoke of young women unmarried at 25 as “Christmas cakes” — past their due date, and left on the shelf, probably doomed to spinsterhood.
Fast forward to 2023, and all that has changed. According to Statista, the average age for first marriage by women in Japan is 29.4 (as of 2020). Furthermore, a survey by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research of Japan found that more than 60% of single women were not interested in having children after marriage.
On the other hand, Japanese women, who tend to be well-educated and in good health, and increasingly have opportunities in business and politics, do not seem to be, on average, ambitious to succeed in the world of work.
In spite of various initiatives, including former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s “Womenomics,” there are still very few women in managerial or leadership positions. According to government statistics, in 2022 only 13.2% of managers were female in Japan, while the percentage was 30–40% in North American and European countries.
During a reading in Singapore at an international conference where I shared a short story on workplace bullying, I mentioned that my Japanese husband maintains that Japanese women don’t want to work.
“Are you still married?” an American man in the audience asked, barely able to believe that I would put up with such nonsense. And yet, my husband is not the only one who thinks along these lines.
In an exchange on Facebook, I opined, “I’m starting to believe that Japanese women don’t even want to have any power in business, politics, etc., which is frustrating.”
Dr. Peter Matanle, Senior Lecturer in Japanese Studies at the University of Sheffield responded, “Japanese men don’t want to work like Japanese men, so why would women want to, when they have more choice than men to opt out? I think it’s really that simple.”
My reply was, “But if they had power, they could change things.”
Dr. Matanle wrote, “Feminism, for many Japanese women, actually means greater hardship and less freedom, when seen from that perspective.”
In her May 20, 2023, article in the Japan Times, Natsuko Fukue wrote, “Once elected, female leaders in Japan face a tough environment, with some describing sexual harassment, chauvinist habits and ingrained views of government as a man’s world.”
Yeah, okay. That’s not a uniquely Japanese situation. Things are tough all over, but women persist.
So what it is that Japanese women really want? To live just comfortably enough, without having to worry about marriage and children and the gender pay gap and other societal factors that affect them? To let men deal with all of the difficult issues while they enjoy their lives?
Tell me. I really want to know.
My recently published novella BAKE SALE further explores gender issues in Japan.
