Why a Cafe is a Great Place for a First Date in Japan
Here are some good places for a successful first date with a Japanese person
The first date can be daunting for anyone, as it holds expectations for the other person, signifying hope for the future. However, these hopes can sometimes lead to regrets like, “I should have spoken more calmly” or “I should have listened more.”
Today, I’ll guide you on finding a suitable place to ease the nerves on first dates and introduce a few recommended cafes in Tokyo.
By the way, as a Japanese person familiar with Japanese culture, I’ll provide insights considering Japanese personalities and the steps in romance.
These tips are helpful not only in romantic relationships but also in building good friendships.
The reason why you go to a cafe for a first date
When getting to know someone for the first time in Japan, a cafe is a better place than a club, party, or movie. Many Japanese people are shy and cautious in romance, making it important to move carefully through appropriate steps. Start with getting to know each other and then you become an official couple after expressing feelings that “I like you” and “Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” (This is called 告白 kokuhaku.)
Physical touches on the first meeting might be perceived as inappropriate, so caution is advised.
A cafe provides an ideal setting to get to know each other.
3 tips for finding the best places
Let me introduce some points for selecting an appropriate cafe.
Choose seats where you can face each other.
According to Mehrabian’s Law, about 55% of the impression is based on appearance. Therefore, sitting facing each other is recommended for the first date. (When considering appearance, many Japanese people are interested in fashion and outfits. Don’t hesitate to compliment your partner’s style. It’s also a great way to initiate a conversation about fashion and taste.)
Sitting side-by-side is not suitable for observing the other person’s facial expressions and reactions and may feel like you are invading their personal space. Personal space refers to the zone around an individual’s body where intrusion becomes uncomfortable. This boundary varies between individuals due to factors such as personality, gender, and cultural upbringing. It’s essential to be mindful of these differences. Notably, Japanese people tend to have a relatively wide personal space compared to others. Therefore, it’s advisable to be conscious of this cultural aspect.
Relax with plants
For Japanese individuals, the prospect of a first meeting can often be intimidating. Given our cultural emphasis on politeness and making a good impression, there’s a tendency to approach initial encounters with a formal demeanor akin to a job interview.
However, here’s some good news! The green hues of trees and potted plants have been shown to alleviate eye strain, influence the nervous system by reducing stress hormones, and induce a sense of mental tranquility and stability, ultimately fostering an overall relaxed state.
When preparing for that nervously anticipated first date, consider choosing a cafe adorned with ample greenery. Terrace seats are also recommended for an added touch of comfort.
Find a place that offers lunch or afternoon sweets
The “Luncheon Technique” suggests that putting something in the mouth draws attention to sensations, making it easier to accept the other person’s words.
Opt for lunch or sweets to keep conversations focused. A big meal can divert attention away from conversation. Opting for a light meal is usually a better choice.
Recommended Cafes in Tokyo
I’d like to share some great cafes in Tokyo that are perfect for building relationships based on the tips above.
Starbucks Coffee Gyoko-gaien Wadakura Fountain Park Store:: Address: 3–1 Koko-gaien, Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo
– A spacious, open café in a park near Marunouchi. Highly recommended.
Starbucks Coffee Tokyu Plaza Omotesando Harajuku Store:: Address: Tokyu Plaza Omotesando Harajuku RF, 4–30–3 Jingumae, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo
– A Starbucks surrounded by trees in the heart of the city, offering a fantastic view.
Blue Bottle Coffee Kiyosumi Shirakawa Flagship Cafe:: Address: 1–4–8 Hirano, Koto-ku, Tokyo
– A spacious, high-ceilinged café with a great location. You can also enjoy the nearby park.
Monkey Cafe:: Address: 12–8 Sarugakucho, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo
– The lush greenery inside provides a relaxing atmosphere.
Racines FARM to PARK:: Address: South Ikebukuro 2–21–1, Toshima-ku, Tokyo, Toshima-ku South Ikebukuro Park
– A café in a pleasant park with both terrace and indoor seating.
