Why I Switched from Diet Coke to Mugicha
Drinking Barley Tea Will Prevent You From Looking Like Donald Trump
For most of my life, my go-to drink has been Diet Coke. A glass with lunch, a glass with dinner, at least one more during the day. After exercising when I needed to rehydrate, another glass of Diet Coke followed by a loud, refreshing belch.
In fact, I drank so much Diet Coke that when people asked what my name — DC — meant, I held up my can and told them I was named for Diet Coke. Some people even believed me.
My coworkers claimed D.C. was unhealthy, and the aspartame sweetener caused cancer, Alzheimer’s, and dementia, as well as global warming, Covid, and 5G network interference. I cited scientific studies showing it was perfectly safe except for that phone interference.
Then one day, I noticed a president named Trump drinking D.C. in the swamplands of D.C. I won’t comment on politics here, but that rusty orange hair scared the bejeesus out of me.
When I found out Diet Coke was Trump’s go-to drink, too, ordering a dozen cans a day from a red button on the Resolute desk, I was sure Diet Coke was the cause of his hair turning orange. I had to quit before the same thing happened to me.
