CULTURE｜LANGUAGE
Why Japanese People Don’t Say I Love You
The preference for subtle expressions is more than a love language allergy
With the cherry blossoms unfurling throughout the city, Tokyo basks in the most romantic season of the year. Yet this city is a world away from Paris, where couples have no hesitation about displaying their love in public. Beneath the ubiquitous masks, Tokyoites’ language of love is surprisingly subtle, and it often lacks the universal message—I love you.
The Mysterious Lack of Love in Japan
According to a survey, only 45% of Japanese men in their 20s and 30s have ever said “I love you”, which means more than half of men haven’t used the Japanese phrase, aishiteru¹.
An even more staggering survey result is that 64% of Japanese women in their 20s and early 30s answered they prefer the word suki (like) to aishiteru (love) in communication with their partners². They claim that “I love you” is too serious and one shouldn’t proclaim it lightly.
In fact, Japan’s royal family started a controversy over this word in 2021. At a press conference after the wedding of former Princess Mako and her husband Kei Komuro, he declared, “I love Princess Mako.”
