How to Trust God When You’ve Waited Longer Than You Wanted for a Spouse

If you are anything like me, you might haven’t had a relationship go all the way to marriage. Even though you tell yourself you are fine, you may question God’s timing in this area. You have the degrees, business, and even the bomb lifestyle. Who wouldn’t want to marry you? You are a complete catch!

But you’ve found yourself going on date after date…NOTHING seems to be working or even feels right.

You don’t understand what you are doing wrong, so you ask your friends, family, and mentors for their advice to see if there is something they see in you as a flaw. You work to perfect yourself in every way to make yourself more attractive, but no one has showed up yet.

What if I told you that waiting for your spouse to come is probably one of the best things you could do for your future?

Preparation is the key to success in any area of your life. The reason why many people fail is because they have not adequately planned for the opportunities that have come their way.

Consider if you won the lottery today. Do you actually have a detailed outline of what you would do with the money right now? Probably not. It was not necessarily one of your goals that you were working towards, so if it happened to you, you might not use it to its fullest potential.

You might wind up broke like the tons of people who hit the lottery daily. They didn’t build the character to handle that type of money. This money could have turned into longer term wealth for the next few generations if allocated correctly.

What a complete waste?

That’s exactly what could happen to your marriage if you were to get into one prematurely. Being impatient with becoming a spouse will have a horrible affect on your life. You have to use this time wisely to build for your future.

Your future spouse is counting on you.

Your kids are counting on you.

Your grandkids are counting on you.

Your next generations are counting on you.

Don’t let them down!

What you do with this time of waiting sets the tone for those who will come into your life in the future. When you finally do have a spouse, you don’t want to look back and regret not doing certain things to secure your family.

The purpose of a marriage isn’t just so you can feel good about yourself that you finally tied the knot. It’s not for you to just show off for all your friends and family. Weddings are really special, but you have to live together beyond that. Trust me, you all are going to have many test and trials that wedding will be the furthest from your mind.

Marriage is for the creating of a legacy.

You can leave your legacy in a variety of ways through marriage because you have a partner who you can build with for a lifetime. Think about what you can accomplish individually and collectively with a fifty year span. There’s so much time for you all to change people’s lives and fulfill your callings and purpose in this earth.

But here’s the thing, those types of legacies rarely happen for couples in this generation. It’s mostly because people don’t marry for purpose. They marry to fill voids, and sometimes they jump so fast and have kids thinking that is their only legacy.

Children are your legacy, but there are more people in this world who need you. And guess what? You don’t have to wait until you are married to reach them. Think about how much better the legacy of your marriage will be if you started working on it right now.

So instead of comparing yourself to everyone else who is getting married quicker than you or who is having children faster than you can count, focus on preparing for your future. Zone in on what you want your great-grandchildren to say about you. Consider how well they will be taken care of because you made good choices when you were single.

God is not punishing you as a single. It’s not a curse. This is a chance for you to do things in an orderly manner to have the life you really want, not just something rushed to check off the list.

Deep down, you want something that is going to last. You desire to have something your future generations can look up to as the prime example of what it looks like to be happy, successful, and fulfilled.

Here are seven ways you can be the most content single person on the planet:

1. Fall in love with you.

Many people rush into relationships, and they don’t even like themselves. How can you expect to be with someone else when you aren’t in love with your body, mind, and soul? You should love your flaws and all. And if you don’t, you should be trying to figure out what you can do to change that naturally. Forcing yourself to appear “picture perfect” will only ruin your future relationships in that it leads to insecurities. Being insecure is unattractive and repels good people from you.

Take the time to find the good inside of you. Focus on that and appreciate it.

2. Enjoy your own company.

Spend time alone with yourself. Truthfully, when you are married, you may not have as much time to yourself. And once you have kids, it’s probably all going to be over. Sure, you can hire a nanny and have lots of help in your family, but you are going to be responsible for other lives aside from your own.

This is the time to sit in the bathtub as long as you want without someone calling your name to come save them.

This is the time to go on vacation to another city or country alone and meet amazing people.

This is the time to do whatever you want, when you want, and how you want.

3. Develop the right habits.

You being a great spouse doesn’t happen the day you sign the marriage license. It starts right now.

What are some habits you know you need to work on right now?

• Is it that you need to start hitting the gym consistently and finally eat right?
• Do you need to forgive people from your past relationships so you won’t take it out on your future spouse?
• Have you develop your credit, savings, and financial plans to be an asset to your spouse and not a liability?

Even further, what character traits should you be looking at gaining?

• Are you impatient with others? How will you deal with your spouse and children?
• Do you actually do everything you say you are going to do?
• Is there a tendency to quit on the things you start when it’s not going your way?

Yes, I know these questions are tough and might not seem relevant to marriage, but these are the things you need to develop from within to become a good spouse to someone else. Remember, getting married is not all about you.

4. Stack your money.

I mean it too. Please don’t think a spouse is a financial plan. Sure, you may have more money together than apart, but apart you both should be able to stand on your own. You have no idea what curve balls life is going to throw at you all. One day, you have have $30 million in the bank, and then the next day you could have to spend $10 million on something unexpected. It could be even worse than that, so you need to ensure you are secure going into the marriage.

You should be honest with your finances.

• How much do you have in your savings? Would you be able to survive for a year?
• Is your credit good enough to purchase a home and car at a lower interest rate?
• Are you making money outside of your job, having multiple streams of income?

This is the reality you will have to face while preparing for being a spouse. You want to be a blessing to your partner, not a burden. No, you won’t be perfect, but you should at least give your best efforts.

5. Build your dreams.

Whatever you have always wanted to do, now is the time to do it right now. I know so many people who hold off on traveling to do it with their spouse. Let’s be honest, what if you all can’t do it because other circumstances arise? Maybe they fear being alone and not having someone to share those memories with. However, in traveling, you get to meet a variety of people. Who knows? You could even meet your spouse!

I went to Venice, Italy completely alone, and it was the best time of my life. It was a reality that I was not ready for a spouse and family. I took the time to help the families with all of their strollers and bottles flying everywhere on the tour bus. Being a parent is not always cute, just like anything else. It showed me that I needed to enjoy this very moment and bless those who had what I wanted.

6. Grow your faith.

To have a long-lasting, successful marriage, you are going to need to have some kind of faith. Everything is not going to be happy go lucky. You might have the best times in the world, and you also might find yourselves having lows. You need to depend on your true heavenly source to give you joy every single day. People are not responsible for your happiness. You are. Your faith makes it easier to see the good in everything. It’ll show you that trouble does not last always.

7. Remain patient.

Whatever you do, do not jump into a relationship to have temporary satisfaction. Yes, it gets lonely at times. Of course it sucks to meet people to only find out they are not the one for you, but I’m telling you, your spouse is coming. In your patience, stay cheerful and hopeful. When the date does not go well, do not ignore those signs. Break things off when it does not feel right. You could block your divine spouse just because someone is filling their spot.

Conclusion

If you apply these steps, I am quite certain your spouse will be here faster than you think. Be sure to comment below telling me the results of using these steps. I would love to hear from you. :)

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