The 7 Deadly Sins of Backend Developers 😈💻
“Just because it compiles, doesn’t mean it’s correct.” — Every backend dev’s guilty conscience
Backend developers. The unsung heroes. The invisible warriors of the web. But let’s be honest — we’ve all committed a few sins in the backend dungeon. 👨💻
Let me walk you through the 7 Deadly Sins of backend development. If you say “I’ve never done this” — either you’re lying or you haven’t been a backend dev long enough. 😏
1. Overengineering Everything 🔧🔩🧠
“Oh look! A simple feature request! Let me architect a distributed, event-driven, AI-powered microservice with 5 queues and 12 Kafka topics!”
Bro, it was just a login page. 😑
We get it — you’re smart. But no one wants to debug your galaxy-brain design when you’re on vacation in Bali. Keep it simple. Your future self (and your junior devs) will thank you.
2. The ‘God Function’ Monstrosity 💀👻
If your function is longer than a Netflix Terms & Conditions page, we have a problem. 🚨
One function, 700+ lines, handles user login, sends SMS, creates invoice, and makes you coffee ☕.
Please. Break. It. Down.
Ever heard of single responsibility? Or are you just playing Jenga with production code?
3. Treating Logs Like Personal Novels 📖🗯️
Some devs log everything. Others… nothing at all.
“Let’s debug in prod. No logs. No metrics. Just vibes.” 😌
Logs should help, not confuse. No one wants to grep through 3000 lines of “Process started” and “Here” logs. Add context. Be intentional. And for the love of clean debugging — avoid logging sensitive data (yes, I’m talking to you who logs passwords in dev 🙄).
4. Premature Optimization 🏎️⚙️
“But what if we get a million users in the first week?”
Relax, Mark Zuckerberg. Your app has 4 users — and 3 are your friends testing it for free.
Build a working version first. Then monitor. Then optimize.
Not the other way around. Nobody cares about your 0.0001s latency boost if the feature itself is broken.
5. Hardcoding Secrets Like It’s 1999 🔐📦
Environment variables? Nah. Let’s just hardcode the AWS key right into the source code and push it to GitHub. 🔥
Then wonder why we got a $10,000 bill from Amazon. 😅
Secrets don’t belong in code. Period. Use a vault. Use a secret manager. Use literally anything else. Or don’t — and enjoy explaining to your CTO why the intern just shut down prod.
6. Ignoring Database Indexes Like They’re Optional 🐢📉
“Oh, the query is slow? Let’s blame the DB guy.”
No, YOU are the DB guy.
Your 6-table join is crying for help.
Add indexes. Think about query plans. Optimize before the ops team adds more RAM hoping it’ll fix your bad SQL like it’s magic seasoning.
7. Writing APIs Without Reading the Spec 📜😵💫
REST, GraphQL, gRPC — pick your poison. But please follow the rules.
Using
GETto delete something? Nice. Chaos developer arc unlocked. 🧨
Returning HTTP 200 with an error message inside the response body? 🤡
JSON keys likex1_a_bv2? May I ask: Why?
Your frontend team hates you, and honestly, so do your future self and the QA team.
Bonus Sin: Blaming Everything on the Frontend 😈🫣
Because clearly, if the button doesn’t work, it’s React’s fault — not the fact that your endpoint is returning null for logged-in users. 💁♂️
Final Thoughts 💭
We’re all guilty of some of these sins. The key is to recognize them and repent (aka refactor 😅).
Backend development isn’t just about making things work — it’s about making them work well, safely, and for others.
Let’s be better. One commit at a time. ✌️
🙏 If you enjoyed this, give it a clap (or 50) and share it with your fellow backend sinners. Let’s confess and grow together.
✍️ Written by a backend dev who’s committed at least 6.5 of these sins.
Drop your sins in the comments — I won’t judge. (But I might roast a little 🔥)
