Growing up is knowledge.

What I learned in 2013

Post college. Los Angeles on a whim. No job. No plan. Just ambition and a sense of adventure.

Informationals. Referrals. Coffees. Drinks. Good advice. Bad advice. Interview after interview. A position I should have gotten. Followed by a too-good-to-be-true job. I thought it was a fluke. I later realized I made my own luck.

I told people I learned more in my post-college year than all four years of college combined. It’s been over a year since then. The learning has continued.

Here are 10 things I learned in 2013.

1. It’s okay to change your mind. But do it decisively. A visit to New York City on a perfect spring day was the catalyst for my decision to move back east by the end of the year. I was eager for change, and New York had everything I was looking for.

I soon realized that I needed to stay on the West Coast… for now. I sorted out my reasoning. Not just for my own sake, but so I could explain to others. I made my decision with confidence.

2. Imperfection is beauty. I used to have a love-hate relationship with Los Angeles. The need to drive. Smog. Materialism. But behind all of these stereotypes lies an incredible city. Amazing food. 330 days of sunshine. Beaches to the West. Mountains to the East. And if you look hard enough, you'll find some incredible people with deep souls and ambition to make a dent in the universe. No place is perfect. But you can find perfection wherever you are.

3. Smart exercise > long exercise. In 2012 I became a triathlete. It was a year of learning. Learning about endurance sports. Nutrition. How to swim. I trained hard and long. This year I trained less, but I beat my personal record by 10 minutes. I trained harder in shorter amounts. Most importantly, I gave myself time to recover. The human body is a living, breathing thing. It needs time to reset.

4. Travel by yourself. I visited France for two weeks this Fall. I was entirely removed from my comfort zone. The first few hours by myself, navigating the city of Nice without knowing the language was terrifying. But I pushed myself to try new things. To make new friends. To explore without an itinerary. You'll learn a lot about yourself in a short period of time by traveling solo.

5. Embrace your age. I made a lot of older friends this year. I did everything I could to avoid talking about age short of lying. I was afraid of not being taken seriously. I wanted to seem like I had it all figured out. But though I'm mature for my age, I'm still only 24. Most of us 20-something's don't have it figured out and won't for a while. Embrace it. Focus on being happy right now. Keep an eye on the future. But don't plan too much. Because those plans will probably be turned upside down.

6. Confidence is attractive. I'm humble. I don't like to brag. I used to become awkward when given a compliment. The best response to one? "Thank you." That's it.

This year I learned that it’s possible to be both humble and confident. My confidence has secured me more dates this year than ever before. It's also invariably led to more rejection. But I've learned to never let my awesomeness waver. I have value as a person, boyfriend, and contributor to the world. No one can take those things away from me.

7. Honesty saves time and energy. Games. Flakiness. Unanswered texts. If you experience any of these dating symptoms, ask your doctor about honesty. I've saved a lot of time, energy and frustration by cutting the bullshit and being upfront with women. Life is too short to spend your time chasing someone who won't reciprocate your feelings.

8. Be weird. Be interesting. Average people receive average results. If you want to stand out, be a little weird. Do something different. It might scare some people off. But it just makes room for those in your life who matter.

9. Our world faces a failure of leadership. Obesity. Climate change. Education. Inequality. Just to name a few. We face more crises than any previous generation. We can blame them on the institutions we live in. But it’s become clear that our leaders are failing us on an epic scale at a time we need them most. The solutions to these problems are fairly simple. But our leaders are too busy stroking their own egos, worrying about winning, and giving each other handjobs. That’s not the definition of a leader. It’s actually the antonym of a leader. It’s time for a new generation of leaders to expel the old. If you’re under 35, it’s up to us.

10. Our country is hopelessly optimistic. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The biggest takeaway I had in France? A greater appreciation for my country. We are ambitious. We have hope. We take pride in our work. We have a colossal startup scene (in France? Not so much). We fail big. We persevere. We have a desire to become somebody. It’s in our blood. Is it naive? Maybe. But it’s what makes us who we are. It’s what sets us apart from the rest of the world.

I used to joke about saying “fuck it all.” Picking up and leaving. Moving to Europe to work on a farm. But not anymore. This is where is I flourish. This is my home.