Mindful Back Pain (yes, it’s possible!)
A decade ago, if you told me that in a few short years I’d be competing in triathlons, I’d cough up the oreos in my mouth, clear my throat, and tell you you were crazy.
Seven years of triathlon-ing has made me a more fit and healthier person than I was ten years ago. All of the cardio now affords me a resting heart-rate of 45 BPM, which once freaked out a nurse at my office biometric screening. True story.
For seven years I’ve been hitting the pool, cycling regularly, and running — but I’ve neglected to take care of my body in a few important ways.
And now I, like millions of Americans, am living with lower back pain.
It became a regular problem just over a year ago. My chiropractor would give me temporary, spot treatments like heat, stim, and occasional injections to relax the muscles in my lower back. But in November, while stretching after a bike ride, I managed to slightly dislocate a joint in my pelvis, exacerbating the problem.
Since then, it’s been a constant struggle.
For a while, I was frustrated. “I’m too young for this shit” is a thought that has crossed my mind often.
But the truth is, I have only myself to blame.
It turns out that years of neglecting to stretch and strengthen my upper legs and hips is the culprit. My hamstrings and glutes are so tight that they’re pulling on my lower back. My hips are not balanced. They function quite well, but rely on my lower back for support more often than they should.
The pain comes and goes. Some days are good, others are worse.
I’ve noticed that the worst days tend to be when I resist what’s happening. The physical pain is mildly uncomfortable. Like a dull ache. But when I start to tell myself a story — versions of “I don’t deserve this” and “why isn’t my physical therapy fixing this yet,” — I add a layer of suffering that is completely mental, but tends to make the physical sensation of pain worse.
There’s a formula taught in MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) that has been helping me through this experience:
SUFFERING = PAIN x RESISTANCE
Pain is a part of life. Physical pain, like back pain, or stubbing your toe on the coffee table. Emotional pain, such as losing a loved one or going through a breakup. There is no way to go through life without experiencing some form of pain.
As human beings, we’re really good at resisting pain.
“I want this back pain to go away.”
“How could I be so stupid! Dumb coffee table.”
“I can’t imagine my life without her.”
We resist using the stories we tell ourselves— “If only I had…”
“If only I had stretched more...”
“If only I had watched where I was walking...”
“If only I had treated her better…”
When we resist, we suffer.
When we accept, not only does the pain feel less intense, but we find a path forward more quickly.
It turns the narrative around. “If only I had stretched more” becomes “I will stretch more going forward.”
There’s also a shift in identity that can occur when it comes to emotions or sensations.
We tend to take these things personally. If my lower back pain is mine, as in “my back pain,” it’s a part of ME — difficult to do something about. If I choose to acknowledge it as part of my current experience (which also includes feet, legs, a torso, arms, and head that are in NO pain whatsoever), it actually hurts less.
“My back pain” becomes simply “the back pain I am experiencing.”
This is a powerful mental shift.
Even if the pain I am experiencing doesn’t go away entirely, or continues to surface, I will learn to live with it. But I will not allow myself to suffer because of it.
The next time you find yourself resisting something, see what it might be like to accept it.
