Seeing the Good

It’s always available if you look for it

Last weekend, some friends and I continued a tradition we began four years ago: spending an entire Saturday cycling from Los Angeles to San Diego.

The 110 mile trek is long, exhausting, and in some places, harrowing. This year, after the 70 mile mark, we became a bit delirious. Simple things became unnecessarily funny. My favorite moment of the day:

While entering Carlsbad, we rode past a family on the sideway walking their bikes up a hill. They looked exhausted. The mom said to her training-wheel-sporting kids, “We’re almost there!” The young daughter pointed to us, as we (seemingly) climbed the hill without effort, and in a voice of genuine amazement, asked, “HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!?!”

After a beat, the mom replied, “They’re in shape.”

It was funny because at that moment, we felt like we were anything but in shape. Everything hurt. Backs. Hips. Thighs. Feet. Butts. Arms. We laughed and laughed as if we didn’t know what comedy was until that moment.

The ride was harrowing because about half of it takes place on the Pacific Coast Highway, or PCH. While on PCH, we shared the road with cars. In places where there was no shoulder and traffic was really congested, we rode ride by side, taking up a full lane for safety reasons.

On three occasions, we were subjected to harassment from drivers. One of them passed us too close for comfort on the left, leaving what felt like a few inches between the side of his car and our bodies. It was jarring.

Another person sped past us, frustrated because we were taking up a full lane. As he passed, he opened his window and shouted “GET OUT OF THE ROAD!”

The final incident was similar to the first, but included a middle finger being extended by the driver.

During the second two encounters, which happened towards the end of the day, I found myself getting angry. I expended a lot of mental energy ruminating about what I would do next time to put an aggressor in his or her place. This web of thoughts consumed me for at least 15 minutes.

Then, I had a realization.

I asked myself “What else has happened today?”

The answer was obvious.

We’ve been passed by hundreds of cars today, and all but three of them were courteous.

All but three.

That’s what happened.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative. Our minds are wired to zero in on the bad; to find a way to make sense of negative events and avoid them in the future.

But the truth is, there will always be a few jerks out on the road. I get it — as a driver myself, it can be frustrating trying to safely pass cyclists. That frustration never justifies putting another person’s life in danger, of course. But map that frustration over the entire driving population and yeah, a couple people will be dumb about it.

This thought changed my perspective immediately. The remainder of the ride was a positive. I noticed the cool ocean breeze. The setting sun. And the fact that — in spite of these three idiots — we made it to our destination safely.

The next time you find yourself stuck, try looking for the positive.

Ask yourself what else is happening right now?

Because there’s always more happening outside of our awareness. Where we choose to put our attention determines our experience.