Epstein Survivor, Kelly Brennan, Answers AMA Questions — Part 1

You Asked, I Answered

HOUSEKEEPING

First, I want to thank everyone that submitted a question in response to my AMA (Ask Me Anything) Post. Thank you. As I sift through the additional submissions, I will respond to each in upcoming articles, videos or social media posts. To submit a follow-up question, please go to www.camerasweets.com/contact. Otherwise, use the comment area below to share your thoughts and opinions as well as ask questions. To stay up to date on my latest responses and other articles, please follow me on Medium and subscribe to receive email notifications each time I publish.

SUMMARY

Reading my responses from start to finish will provide an overview of the abuse I faced and my experiences with Epstein. Because I have received many submissions, including several that overlapped or were duplicates, I’ve combined some questions and organized my responses in chronological order to make the overall timeline easier to follow. Although I did my best to answer each question as thoroughly as possible, I also tried to keep my response concise. Because of this, some details were omitted.

The responses to the following questions can be found below:

  • Question 1: In other articles, you’ve mentioned that the abuse you endured as a child increased your risk of falling victim to someone like Epstein. Could you tell us a bit more about that?
  • Question 2: That must have been very tough to cope with. Did things get better after that?
  • Question 3: I’m sorry to hear about the trauma you endured. As teenagers, we often feel insecure and vulnerable. How did your lack of self-esteem impact your teenage years?
  • Question 4: When and how did you first meet Epstein?
  • Question 5: What was your first impression of Epstein?
  • Question 6: Why do you think Epstein chose to target you instead of one of the other young girls at the event?
  • Question 7: What did you, Epstein and the other adults discuss that night?
  • Question 8: Your experiences with Epstein soured with time. When did you first see Epstein’s true colors?
  • Question 9: How did you react after Epstein sexually assaulted you?
  • Question 10: Why did you agree to the job audition?

RESPONSES TO QUESTIONS 1–10

Question 1: In other articles, you’ve mentioned that the abuse you endured as a child increased your risk of falling victim to someone like Epstein. Could you tell us a bit more about that?

“After being born on June 20, 1985, I faced various forms of mistreatment, starting with molestation at around age five by an older, more mature child that I idolized. That was followed by sexual assault at the hands of a trusted male adult several years later. Like many children enduring sexual assault, unaware that my experiences were improper, I replicated my abuser’s actions with another child, unfortunately allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. Later in life, I learned that approximately 1 in 4 children imitate the abusive behaviors they’ve learned. Still, I have been unable to forgive myself, even though I was a child and was incapable of fully comprehending my actions. The early abuse skewed what I considered right or wrong and acceptable treatment by others, making me more vulnerable to becoming prey to future abusers.”

Question 2: That must have been very tough to cope with. Did things get better after that?

“No. Instead, I suffered physical and mental abuse and neglect due to a loved one’s mental health and developmental disorders. Because Autism was not yet well understood, I was hit, kicked, slapped, punched, bit, smacked, headbutted, cut, scratched, as well as had my hair pulled, finger broken, and all sorts of objects thrown at me. I was yelled at, blamed, and called horrible names. My valuables and homework were destroyed, and the knives had to be hidden. I was struck with toy baseball bats, curtain rods, and tennis racquets, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. As family and friends were busy caring for that person and managing the fallout, I took on too much responsibility. I sacrificed my own needs to care for those around me, feeling it was necessary for my family’s survival. Doing so caused my self-esteem to plummet and solidified my belief that self-worth and love were based on what I did for others and how others perceived my actions.”

Question 3: I’m sorry to hear about the trauma you endured. As teenagers, we often feel insecure and vulnerable. How did your lack of self-esteem impact your teenage years?

“I didn’t understand that my life was any different than those around me. Because of this, I internalized the negative feelings and blamed myself for not being able to keep up with those around me. Although I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did, I was able to recognize the pain I was in. Turning to friends, teachers, coaches, and other trusted adults, I looked for help through validation, comfort and love, but things only worsened. Some responded with indifference or disgust, while others took advantage of my vulnerability by convincing me they cared before committing statutory rape and ghosting me when they were nearly caught. Unsure of how else to cope, I continued to focus on helping my family while developing terrible coping mechanisms like self-harm and creating unobtainable expectations for myself. My mental state plummeted so low that I attempted suicide. I was hospitalized, released, and then life continued as if it never happened.”

Question 4: When and how did you first meet Epstein?

“Wanting a fresh start, I applied and was accepted to attend college, SUNY New Paltz, located about 90 minutes northeast of New York City. In August 2003, while participating in first-year orientation, I was lonely and looking to meet new people. While getting fresh air during a break, I met the girl that would later introduce me to Epstein. Decades later, I would recognize that this person was most likely a “recruiter” and never intended to be my friend.

Shortly after, I moved into my dorm on campus, room 1B in Gage Hall, with two other roommates and started my first semester. Later that fall, while roaming the campus looking for something to do, I encountered the same girl. Standing with several other beautiful girls, she called me over and invited me to hang out. After dismissing my many excuses, she persuaded me to go to a club restaurant in Manhattan called Cipriani, using guilt and logic as tools to manipulate me. Upon arrival, we were brought to a semi-private area filled with stunning girls and young ladies, most of which seemed younger than me. Soon after, I was introduced to Epstein and ‘friends,’ including Jean-Luc Brunel, a beautiful brunette woman that fit the description of Maxwell (but I cannot be sure), and other adult men.”

Question 5: What was your first impression of Epstein?

“At first, I thought that Epstein was charismatic, hospitable, and genuinely nice. After I was introduced to him at the club restaurant, he generously encouraged us to order food and alcohol on his tab. Then he continued to socialize with the other adults while I mingled with the girls who had invited me along with several other attractive young girls. Overall, I had an enjoyable time at first and was grateful to be treated with such kindness.”

Question 6: Why do you think Epstein chose to target you instead of one of the other young girls at the event?

“Due to past abuse, I generally felt overwhelmed when meeting people for the first time and uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings until I warmed up. Because of this, I eventually sat alone to collect my thoughts and pick at some food, figuring it would be good to soak up some of the alcohol I had been drinking. Shortly after, Epstein called me over to sit with the adults. Decades later, I learned Epstein was a predator, and I fit the description of his desired prey, a loner, previously groomed and abused, damaged, and easy to manipulate. When I sat alone, unable to fully connect with those around me, I unknowingly placed a target on my back by pointing out my vulnerability. With that being said, I have no idea if he targeted or abused the other girls that I met that night. In all likelihood, I wasn’t the only one.”

Question 7: What did you, Epstein and the other adults discuss that night?

“After being summoned by Epstein, the adults asked about my goals, fears and homelife. I answered, believing their motivations were pure. However, they used the answers to manipulate me into taking them up on the offer to get me a job interview. Although I appreciated their kindness, my low self-esteem caused me to reject their offer. However, starting the grooming process, Epstein and Brunel pushed and prodded me, making me feel it was impossible to decline without being extremely rude to my hospitable hosts. I still refused after they attempted to lure me with money, stating it was a paid job audition, and then with flattery, swatting away my excuses by dismissing my insecurities. Eventually, using their connections with the modeling world, they conned me into believing they had the power and desire to help me make the best of my fresh start (something that I had divulged when they questioned me earlier). With my inhibition diminished from the alcoholic drinks, Epstein’s warm smile eventually convinced me that he genuinely wanted to help me.”

Question 8: Your experiences with Epstein soured with time. When did you first see Epstein’s true colors?

“While talking with the adults at the club restaurant, Epstein ordered additional alcoholic beverages for me to drink before prompting me to walk around as if I was a model on a catwalk. Drunk and unsure of what else to do, I felt very uncomfortable but didn’t want to seem rude, so I did as he commanded. He then pulled me back close to him, prompting me to stand in front of him and Brunel while holding my arms out. To prove I had the body of a model, he wrapped his hands around my wrist, touching his pinky to his thumb, before repeating the same to the other wrist. He stood up and analyzed my body with his eyes while running his hand along my curves. After peering down my shirt, he groped me in front of the other adults, making me feel highly uncomfortable. Although many healthy individuals may have sensed danger before that point, the abuse I had faced earlier in life skewed the way I interpreted the world around me, moving the threshold of what I considered acceptable behavior. It wasn’t until he began to assault me that everything fell apart for me physically.”

Question 9: How did you react after Epstein sexually assaulted you?

“After he groped me, I recall feeling shocked and embarrassed. As I looked around the room, those feelings were quickly replaced with confusion and self-doubt. Because the other adults acted as if Epstein’s behavior was normal, I questioned my judgment rather than running away or making a scene. Uncomfortable, I moved away as Epstein leaned over to focus his attention on my lower half, which caused Epstein and Brunel to humiliate me by teasing tease that I might be too prude to be a good model. Their taunts swayed me to believe their actions might be appropriate in the modeling industry. They mocked me for not following through with my recent goal of creating a healthy fresh start for myself, declaring my refusal to accept their offer was a sign that I hadn’t meant what I said to them earlier. Not knowing what to believe, I stood frozen as Epstein slid his hand up my skirt, placed his hands around my upper thigh, and sexually assaulted me. Disturbed, I jerked back before rushing off to the bathroom. It was only then that I finally reached out to the girls that had invited me and convinced them that I wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave. Decades later, I’d learn that I had experienced a successful example of a predator’s grooming process used to mold victims into the perfect prey slowly over time.”

Question 10: Why did you agree to the job audition?

“People often ask me this question, assuming I happily agreed to participate out of gluttony or excitement at the idea of being famous, and so on. However, it’s so far from the truth. I didn’t have the confidence to consider being a model, no less to enjoy the idea. Instead, the thought made my stomach churn with anxiety. I only agreed because Epstein forced me to. After sexually assaulting me, they “politely demanded” that I select a date for the audition before leaving. Although I no longer wanted anything to do with Epstein, they would not accept any excuse I provided. After telling them I couldn’t attend because I didn’t have a way to get to the audition, he offered to send a car, making it seem like it was no big deal. When I said I was too busy with schoolwork, they removed the obstacle by stating they could work around my schedule and meet on the weekend. Eventually, desperately wanting to go home, mortified, and unable to process the recent sexual assault, I relented with the intention of not following through.”

IN PART 2 OF THIS SERIES…

The following questions will be answered in the next corresponding article:

  • Question 11: Why didn’t you report Epstein after he sexually assaulted you the first time?
  • Question 12: Epstein made you feel uncomfortable during your last encounter, yet, you followed through with the job audition. Why?
  • Question 13: When was the next time that you encountered Epstein?
  • Question 14: Did Epstein immediately force you to have sex, or did it escalate over time?
  • Question 15: Did you fight back or try to run away when he raped you?
  • Question 16: What was the creepiest thing about Epstein?
  • Question 17: Did you meet anyone else of importance the night you were raped?
  • Question 18: Why did you continue to return to Epstein, time and again, after he raped you?
  • Question 19: Why didn’t you tell authorities about what happened immediately after?
  • Question 20: Did you try to get help or tell a loved one about what happened?

Disclaimer

Please note that the information in this article briefly depicts my experiences with Epstein as best as I can recall and comprehend the facts when it was written in May 2022. My understanding, inferences, and opinions may change as added information is made available by unlocking repressed memories and new facts uncovered through the FBI investigation or the media.

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CameraSweets

CameraSweets

KELLY BRENNAN. Jeffrey Epstein Sexual Assault Survivor. Mental Health Advocate. Educator. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Author.