We Gather Together
I spend a lot of time listening to the different tracks in my head — there’s always some sort of mono- or dialogue going and typically a song or a stanza or two on continuous loop to ride alongside the infinite ringing in my ears. When I play tennis, I tune the song to Kate McKinnon’s version of Hallelujah and every now and again to some other song like We are the the Champions, Gasolina or We Built this City.
This morning the sound track is a mishmash of We Gather Together ( Christian hymn of Dutch origin written in 1597 by Adrianus Valerius) and Reasons to be Cheerful, Part 3 (Ian Dury and the Blockheads). It’s a sort of hip-hoppy version that jumps between the two songs and it works. This morning it was accompanied by a cerebral version of writing — me thinking on what I would write about relative to the looping song mishmash.
We have about 20 people coming over to share our afternoon and evening with. I have done nothing more to prepare for this than to go shopping late one night when there were just a few people in the store to make sure that we could adequately feed 20 people. I’ve been thinking of what a plot of the ages of the people coming looks like — I’m fascinated by how data maps into pictures that tell a story — and it’s going to be an interesting afternoon. I’m now realizing that there are going to be 24 people not just 20 and I am now grateful that I mapped out the guest list.
I love that there are so many people coming over and that there’s equal distribution of youth to adult. It will be an interesting afternoon.
I’m pretty sure that by 10am I’ll feel enough pressure to start the process of food preparation and getting the table set. I’m committed, too, to at least sweeping the leaves out of the house that seem to enter each time a dog enters. It’s the looping song, though, more than the anxiety of the 24 people who are visiting, that got me to pull out my computer and break the morning peace with the gentle tap, tap, tapping sound of fingers on keyboard.
It goes sort of like this … reasons to be grateful as we gather together 1, 2, 3 ….
The four pooches that keep me happy inside, always. With the addition of a fourth dog — an endless ball of energy puppy with needle sharp teeth and a fierce bark — the three grown-up dogs have now bonded together as one. A pack in formation. I’m grateful for every meeting Sunny attends with me, quietly by my side listening to every google hangout and offering advice through the soulful looks that he shares. And I’m grateful for Shade for putting the spring back in the step of all three dogs. Serena may live forever, it seems, having been given a new lease on life by moving to a house with endless space to explore, the addition of Sunny and now a puppy. I’m grateful for the grounding that the love and loyalty of these four canines bring to my daily being.
The four — wait, now five — children that make my collected family. My Thomas, Erika and Nick and Tim’s Emma and Cole. We talk about our children like they are “ours” but truly they are their own beings and we are simply joined together in a blended family unit. My every day touches on each of these five amazing humans — my mind wandering through the day to “what are they doing” and thinking of Thomas at his new job and packing boxes to move, Erika working on what’s next and Nick no doubt telling some embellished story to someone in the kitchen as he makes the just right charcuterie plate to Emma scheming on her next thoughts on how to sustain our earth and Cole plotting his next ping pong mastery. I touch on the “what are they up to” thoughts daily. It’s always great to connect the dots with reality and find out the true experiences, hopes and dreams that they are wrangling with. These five make my heart full every day.
Tim who sets me free in the world to explore and lets me follow my path while being a partner by my side. I’m grateful every day to have the freedom to explore and maniacally go through my very full and fulfilling days with the love and respect afforded by a giving partner. I’m at my best when my wings aren’t clipped and I do my best to return the same luxury to all in my orbit.
Every day I wade out into the world and engage with the most incredible people who are a part of the Techstars worldwide network. I meet people from all over the world, bringing their dreams and passions to life and fully leaning in on the virtuous cycle of failure and success. It’s humbling and exhilarating and every day is packed with learnings. I’m massively grateful to find myself with a job that so richly rewards, daily. I go to bed exhausted and looking forward, always.
Someone asked me the other day if my parents were still alive and I almost said “well, of course they are!” but then I realized how grateful I am that they are and how lucky I am that they are. And how many people cannot say “well, of course.” And why would I even think “of course” other than to know that I haven’t yet imagined a world where they aren’t. I’ve always felt incredibly lucky to have known all of my great-grandmothers, one great-great grandmother (I may be making this up) and to have known a great-great aunt. And I feel like my children have been lucky to have had great grandparents in their life for long enough to have real memories. The long arc of generations bring perspective to life. I am grateful that all of our children have so many generations in their lives. Every time I tell my founder story, I am reminded of my parents because I first credit where I am today to my mother telling me that I could do whatever I wanted and to my father’s occupation for keeping our family moving around and experiencing life through different lenses. There’s a lot more to be grateful for with my parents — but, today, I’m grateful that they are in my life and a part of my childrens’. We’re all better humans because of them.
My brother — who is my only sibling — I’ll always be grateful for because he made me a sibling, which I was so desperate to be as a young child. “Why did I not have a brother or sister?” and couldn’t you please make me one were the thoughts of my youth. And, so, finally my mother delivered and we didn’t end up adopting that Vietnamese refugee that I thought would be a good answer and Mark entered our world. Mark — not Wilbur or Charlotte as my eight-year old self had requested of my parents — the admiral of our lives in the Marky was an Admiral ditty we would sing to him. We talk or mind meld daily and approach the world’s opportunities with Nietzsche, Sartre, Plato and Kierkegaard as our guides.
I could write forever if I mentioned all the people that I am grateful for and why we should gather together. And so I start to draw to a close with thinking of all the people I haven’t mentioned. How do the dogs get a whole paragraph and Tim a quick mention when my friends and extended family get bare mentions? There are so many people who are close to my heart and make me the whole person that I like to think that I am. So, I’ll end on a sort of riff and share how it rolls through my head in a roiling sea of gratitude.
Still on a high from connecting with my “ex-family” as I think of my first husband’s family at my first son’s wedding in September. The wedding — September 16 — fell right in the landmine of emotion for this family as it’s the month when my first father-in-law died and, for me, when my birthday happens. The wedding was perfect, as they are meant to be. Dancing to Stay up Late just like it was the ’90s again and sharing joyful tears with my son as we swayed to Louis Armstrong croaking out the words to my past father-in-law’s favorite What a Wonderful World … gratitude abounds.
Every day I am grateful for the number of people in my world who get me through each day. I have an incredible team of friends who carry me through the ups and the downs and make every day worth it. If I name you all, I’ll forget one or two and that would then make me sad. You all know who you are — from the people on my Facebook who I went to grade school with (wow, so grateful to have my third grade class on Facebook), to Facebook for keeping me connected with my extended family — cousins, aunts, uncles, second cousins and great aunts and great uncles, in-laws and past in-laws — and the rich group of friends from all of my life adventures. But to each and every person who are my bumper guards on life and keep me from going too low or flying too high.
My mind is clear, now. My song has stopped looping and the volume of the infinite ringing has increased to fill the void of the song that has ended. The voice that told this story has quieted. The dogs are all in a pile making quiet dog sleeping noises and the house is still. It’s a beautiful day out — sunlight filtering into my room making patterns on the bed. And it’s still. Calm. Peaceful. And I’m full of gratitude, ready to embrace the day.
