A Morning Walk on My Wedding Anniversary!
July 10th was my 7th wedding anniversary. It was also my day off. Since I have a full-time job and a side hustle startup alongside it, I am always busy. I don’t usually have the luxury of time to spend with my family on a typical day off.
My wife agreed to cook something special. We had to do some early shopping. I jumped on a call with Romeo just after 7 o’clock. We discussed a few things about the new website content and the stages of pivoting. Our initial idea of CareScore seemed too big and had many practical difficulties as an MVP.
For the past few weeks, I have been working on my self-improvement. The two key things I do every day are meditation and reading books. Currently, I am reading the famous book ‘The Power of Now’. That, combined with meditation, has been helping me stay in the present moment and be mindful of each moment in life.
However, it’s not easy. But today, I felt free. We planned to go to an Indian shop to buy special ingredients for our dinner. The shop would only open at 10, and we reached there at 9:30. We had to wait for half an hour.
Wrestling with frustration
I was frustrated, and I could see it. I asked myself why I was feeling frustrated. I wondered why I couldn’t keep my frustrations at bay. After all, it is just half an hour’s wait!
My wife suggested we could walk in the park near the shop. It would be good for our little son, and we could do the shopping when the store opens. I declined, saying that I had things to do. I couldn’t afford to spend 30 minutes roaming around. My wife agreed, and we went to another shop in the town.
As I was driving to the town, I pondered. When would I have time to relax? Am I really enjoying my life?
I knew my mind was trying to blame me unnecessarily. I could see it. I was thinking about how a little walk in the park wouldn’t do any harm. It would have been good for my son, but I didn’t do it because I had to attend to pressing matters. I was feeling guilty inside.
A morning walk in town
When I parked my car and started walking to the shop, I told myself I wouldn’t blame myself anymore. I would enjoy this walk in the town. I tried to take back control of my mind.
Not many people were there, and the town was mostly empty. People were just passing by. I heard a beautiful voice of a man singing.
I’ve lived in the UK for about 13+ years. It’s common to see street performers in town singing and expecting tips or just performing for pleasure.
He was singing the famous song by Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t worry, be happy”. He had a mini guitar. He gave me a beautiful smile. I felt he was singing that song from the bottom of his heart.
I didn’t have any change to tip him, so I went to the shop. By the time we were finishing, the morning rush in the town had started. As I was coming back, I saw him still singing the song. Many people, like me, were rushing through. But he seemed so relaxed, enjoying and singing.
A second thought
I pondered again. Would I ever be that kind of person? Would I ever live my life free and always smile as if I don’t have anything to worry about?
I didn’t plan to tip him and was about to leave. But he had managed to evoke some emotions in me. He made me reflect on my life. I decided to tip him a pound. I took my son with me while my wife stayed in the car.
My son had the coin. We gave it to the performer on the street.
The man said to my son, “That’s so nice of you, little man. I really appreciate it.” He also gave us both a good smile.
I stood there for a minute or so. He continued to sing. You could see that he was immersing himself in the song. I felt envious.
My son’s first giving!
I teach my son not to lose money because it’s very hard to get! Today, we gave away a pound coin. I asked him why we did that. My son replied, “Because he sang a song.”
I liked his observation but was equally scared. While driving back, I pondered again. “What will my son do in the future? Will he give away money to those who sing songs all the time? Did I teach him a good or bad lesson?”
I could see that my mind was trying to trick me and ruin my happiness.
It was just my rational mind trying to induce irrational thoughts into my mind so that I wouldn’t be happy.
I managed to see the blame game coming back. I quickly diverted my mind. I thought of writing down what happened today.
The short morning journey and walk around town evoked a lot of emotions. I could see all sorts of emotions, the good, the bad, and the ugly, coursing through my mind.
I had to be present in those moments to notice them, and I’m glad I managed to do that!
