Content warnings for colorism, misogyny, and homophobia. These issues are still prevalent in Filipino society today. I included them as a critique of our society, not an endorsement of those things.
CONTINUED FROM CHAPTER 1
Earlier that day, I’d told my older colleagues at Shoe Mart about the film’s premise. They explained to me that the Crystal Arcade was a real building that burned down in 1945, a couple of years after my birth. I was too young to remember. It was beautiful, the most modern building in the country at the time. The great Juan Luna’s son, Andres Luna de San Pedro, designed it in the art deco style.
It was spacious and full of light, they said. Angular, geometric, yet still adorned with loopy iron grilles and gem-colored mosaics. By 1940, however, the original owners — the Pardo de Tavera corporation — fell into debt because of the Arcade, and it was now the property of El Hogar Filipino. The Arcade’s fate was uncertain, but the characters in this film would dance in spite of the uncertainty. This was a year before the Japanese would invade and seize ownership, too.
To Robin’s credit, the mural behind us was gorgeous, expertly recreating the details that my colleagues described. The lighting was wonderful, making the small studio feel like it was so much bigger and bathed in sunlight, even though it was almost nighttime.
I walked around, trying to find a partner. The others have worked together before, I realized, when they all partnered up without much hesitation or pause. I even saw Paco tugging Nieves by the hand, and she rolled her eyes, yet she readily got into position with him. ¡Dios mío! I was really the clueless neophyte.
“Hey!” someone said. I looked at the source of the voice; it was Robin himself. He got up from his director’s chair and approached me. “Do you have a partner or not?”
We looked around. Everyone else was paired up. So I was really alone.
“I’ll dance with you,” he offered. Nabigla ako.
“But you’re our director,” I said.
“It’s fine. I want this scene to feel authentic. The Crystal Arcade was a doomed dream, but young people in the Philippines, on the brink of independence from America, still placed their hopes in it. I want everyone to get lost in that feeling, and for me to feel that, too. My cameraman will take care of everything.”
So he pulled me in closer, grabbing me by the waist. We danced.
Kahit na galit ako sa kanya, nahulog pa rin ako sa mga mata niya. I got lost in the moment. Even then, I knew that he was different from other men. Probably because he wasn’t actually a man, of course.
Trumpets and saxophones blared behind us as the live band played some swing music. I truly felt like I was there, another bright-eyed hopeful inside the Crystal Arcade.
I didn’t notice until the scene was over that Susan Roces and Eddie Gutierrez were nowhere to be found. Nilapitan ko si Nieves. “Hey, I thought we were going to see Susan Roces and Eddie Gutierrez today. Aren’t they the leads? Won’t they sing in this scene?”
Nieves just shrugged.
“That’s a wrap,” said Robin. “Good job, everyone!” A woman wheeled inside a cart of hamburgers and bottles of Avenue soda.
“Feel free to take some refreshments! It’s all on me,” he said. Kahit naiinis ako sa kaniya, na-appreciate ko pa rin ito. I took a hamburger and some sparkling sarsaparilla.
…
An assistant handed me some coins, my pay for the day’s shoot. Sinundan ko si Nieves sa labas ng compound.
“Hi!”
“Oh! Hi.”
“You’re going to be here tomorrow too, right?” tanong ko. Nieves nodded.
“So… you’ve been acting as an extra in films for a while now?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve been doing it since I was about 19,” said Nieves. “My parents weren’t on board at first. They only allowed me to move to Manila to pursue higher education.” With a shake of her head, a wry smile graced her lips, which looked darker and plumper without all her makeup. “They thought it would just be a distraction, until I proved to them that I was doing fine, and I was earning from the gigs too.”
“So how old are you now?”
“I’m turning 22 soon.”
“Oh!” I looked down as I walked beside Nieves on the side of the road. “So you’ve done this for three years now. Have you ever gotten any meatier roles?”
Nieves shrugged. “At least I actually get to do things in films now, rather than just standing around. The pay’s better too. But if you’re asking if I’ve ever gotten a secondary or lead role, no. You’re actually quite lucky this was your first.”
She added, “Men seem to find this career quite attractive too. So don’t worry; it’s not a waste of time, even if you’ll never be the next Paraluman. Though…” She eyed me up and down again. “You’re tall and mestiza. You’ve got better chances than I do. Just stay out of the sun or invest in a good parasol, okay? Maybe dye your hair a lighter brown, too.”
I nodded. “Wait, where are we going?”
Tinaas niya ang kilay niya. “Where are you going?”
I blushed. Sobrang nahiya ako, parang nag-a-assume ako na magkaibigan na kami. “I don’t know… I mean, I’ll just go home if you don’t want to go to a diner or something. I just thought maybe we could… I don’t know…”
Swerte ako na may bumangga sa kaniya na lalaki. “Hey!” she yelled.
“Sorry!” he said, catching his breath. He grinned — Paco. It was Paco.
“What a gentleman you are,” she hissed, glaring at him.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just — you ladies walk fast! How do you do that in stilettos?” he said, widening his eyes.
“Lots of practice,” I said, giggling.
“What are you doing here, Fullido?”
“To say hi to her, not to you,” said Paco. “You’re new to town, aren’t you?”
“Pretty new, yes,” sabi ko.
“I’ll show you around. Let’s go to Avenida. Have you been to the theaters? Scala’s quite nice, and they’re showing My Fair Lady right now. I heard that you ladies love some Hepburn.”
Nieves’ eyes practically bulged out. “Bettina, no! Don’t go on a date with this scoundrel!”
“It’s not a date, Nieves, simply a friendly invitation. We won’t be alone. You can come too, if you’d like.” I followed Paco as he approached the parking lot.
Kahit na mahilig magsinungaling si Paco, magaan ang loob ko sa kaniya. He lied about harmless things, to be honest. I would eventually come to see him as a brother.
Nieves followed us reluctantly. Paco stopped next to a shiny, powder blue car. “It’s a Vauxhall 1964,” he told me.
“Sweet,” I said. I didn’t know much about automobiles, but it looked nice.
Nieves narrowed her eyes at him. “Where did you steal this from?”
“I stole this from your rich mestizo boyfriend, of course,” he announced proudly.
“I don’t have a — you stole this from Nando?” Ang tulis ng boses ni Nieves. “Fullido, did you steal this from Nando?!”
He burst into laughter, leaning on the side of the car. “Fullidooooo!” sigaw ni Nieves.
“Who’s Nando? You’ve got a boyfriend?” Hindi ko pa talaga kilala si Nando noon. Mas masaya pa ang buhay ko bago ko nakilala ang demonyong iyon.
“He’s not my — Nando is just a suitor of mine,” said Nieves. “Fullido, I refuse to ride in this car that you stole! Return it to them now!”
A young man with brown skin and a head of thick, curly black hair walked towards the car. “Hey, Paco!”
Paco stopped laughing, wiping happy tears from his eyes. He turned around to wave at him. “Hey, Eugene!” He sighed. “I didn’t steal any car, Nieves. This is Eugene’s car, which he bought through honest means. His father is American, remember?”
Tulala lang si Nieves.
“For someone who distrusts me so much, Nieves, you sure like to believe everything I say,” tukso ni Paco. He opened a car door for us.
…
Nieves and Paco allowed me to Bettina have the passenger seat. Ako daw yung baguhan so ako yung guest. The two sat behind us in the back seat. As Eugene drove, I kept on glancing at him before finally mustering the courage to ask, “So you’re half-American too, Eugene?”
He chuckled. “I know what you’re thinking, Bettina. If I’m half-American, why do I look the way that I do?” With a shake of his head, he said, “The film executives think the same thing. When they hear my name, Eugene Andrews, they get excited. They expect someone who looks like James Dean, and their faces fall when they see me.”
“James Dean was a homosexual pansy anyway, Eugene. Don’t fret over it,” Nieves assured him.
“I quite like James Dean,” said Paco. “Rebel Without a Cause was a good film.”
“Of course you would. You’re a pansy too, though unfortunately the womanizing sort. It might be better for the ladies of our nation if you’d been born a homosexual.”
Eugene snorted at their bickering. Paliwanag niya sa akin, “Anyway, yes, my father is indeed American, but he is a… well, a Black American.”
“I see,” I said. It made sense.
The radio played some dainty piano notes. Carmen Rosales’ melancholic voice sang long, slow notes. “Oh, Maalaala Mo Kaya!” said Nieves. “I love this song!”
“It’s so dreary,” said Paco. “Ginoo ko! Arang man ni sa lubong nga kantaha,” he exclaimed in Bisaya. “Isn’t this from 1957? It’s been almost a decade since this song came out. It’s older than my dog, and he’s middle-aged in dog years.”
Nieves rolled her eyes. “Trends fade, Fullido. There’s a reason that our Lord Jesus is still beloved, as your blasphemous idols The Beatles slowly fall into obsolescence.”
“I listened to a Beatles song once…”
Eugene laughed and told me, “They’re always like this. You’ll get used to it.”
I relaxed in my seat, giggling. “So you’ve all known each other for…?”
“About four months,” said Eugene. “I didn’t really want to work in the industry until Robin started getting into it too.”
“Robin?”
“The director, Robin.” Doon ko nalaman ang pangalan niya. “He’s a friend of mine from college,” explained Eugene. “I’m still studying; he graduated a while ago. But we’ve kept in touch. He’s very passionate, you know. He was also too young to know what the Crystal Arcade was like, but he did an extensive amount of research, and he trusted me to bring it to life.”
I gasped. “Wait — so you painted that superb mural?”
He smiled. “I did.”
“Ang husay mo!”
“Thank you, Bettina.”
“It really is amazing,” said Nieves. Paco nodded.
“I brought his vision to life, but I couldn’t have done it without his thorough research,” said Eugene. That’s when I got even more curious about Robin. He was such an interesting person.
“So yeah, I didn’t meet these two until Robin started working in film,” said Eugene. “But they’ve known each other for longer… right, guys?”
“I’ve known him for one torturous year,” Nieves muttered. She opened the bottle of water that she’d been carrying, sipping from it.
“She calls it torturous because there are periods where we don’t see each other. She misses me too much,” says Paco.
“That’s not true!” she shrieked, which made him laugh harder.
“Wait, so how old are you, Paco?” asked Bettina.
“I’m 21,” he said. “But I didn’t become an actor until sometime last year. I was working in Japan before that, as a musical entertainer.” It may shock people from the younger generations, but Filipino overseas workers in Japan were mostly men at the time, not women.
“Oh, wow!” I said.
“Yeah. I wanted to be like Ricky Nelson, but I don’t have a great singing voice like he does.” He shrugged. “I can play the piano and the guitar, however. So I may not have been that good at singing, but the women there knew I was quite good with my hands.”
Nieves almost choked on her water.
“But yeah, I’m not much of a singer, so I guess I’ll have to settle for acting. I don’t want to be like Dolphy. With all respect to him, I don’t want to be boxed into the ‘Chinese-looking guy who does funny characters’ role. I want to be a romantic heartthrob too someday. And maybe like Ricky Nelson, I’ll also get a fan club full of beautiful women, with 9,000 chapters around the world…”
“In your dreams, Fullido,” she snapped.
“Well, yes. I dream about it. Vividly, in fact. Graphically. In quite extensive detail.”
She made a vomiting sound. “You are simply unbelievable. The most insufferable man I’ve ever met.”
“Wait, wait!” Paco said. The slow, dreary song on the radio ended, replaced by an upbeat song that I’d never heard before. He said, “Ah, I love this song!”
“What is it?” I asked him.
“It’s Downtown by Petula Clark, a new song!”
He rolled down the window beside him and stuck his head out in the traffic in Avenida Rizal. “Fullido, are you stupid?” sigaw ni Nieves. But he pushed his arms out too as he sang the verses out loud. Gaya ng sinabi niya, hindi siya masyadong magaling kumanta. But he sounded passionate.
Nieves pulled him back in as the traffic moved along. But he kept the windows rolled down, and the chorus came on. The repeated “Downtown”s were easy to follow, and soon enough, I rolled down the window next to me too. I sang the word out loud on the chorus, awash in the brilliant neon lights of the signs around us. Avenida was packed with shiny stores, full of possibility. It really was a thrill to be downtown.
TO BE CONTINUED…
