Not in the mood to talk

Maybe it’s because I’m just starting out, maybe it’s because I haven’t prepared thoroughly. But blogging daily is actually harder than I thought. And it’s only the second day today.

It’s true that all I really have to do is to write like I talk. I get it. But I guess if I’m someone who doesn’t talk all that much (out loud at least), then it could be a problem.

When I was in elementary school. I was very talkative — so talkative to a point where it was an issue my teachers had to bring up with my parents every so often. Actually now that I think about it, even in high school up until my early adult life, I was very talkative.

But now that I’m a grown adult, I don’t talk all that much. I mean of course I talk when I meet up with a friend during one-on-one’s. But when I’m in a group setting, I can just sit there and laugh along and be completely engaged without really talking and I’m totally okay with it. Actually, a lot of times, when there’s someone who talks a lot and I’m not even talking all that much, it would be a very exhausting ordeal for me. The nodding along, the reaction I would have to give, the smile I would have to put on my face, and the laugh I would need to utter out. Just stop talking for a bit and eat your damn pasta, would you please?!

I remember when I was 25 (dayam that’s a long time ago!), I kind of went on a date with this guy that I really, really liked. Kind of because it wasn’t officially a date, but more like we spent pretty much the whole day together. All we did was we walked around quite a bit, then sat at a coffee shop for the entire afternoon, and ended with us taking the tram ride from one end of the island to the other. All without much talking involved. And I still remember that serene and happy and content feeling, something I never got to feel again. That feeling how you’re just so happy you’re spending time with that person, and that you still could connect without even speaking a word — the true kind of a connection. And I remember how when we were at the coffee shop, I felt so peaceful and so in love because we were quiet. I didn’t want any spoken words to ruin that particular moment for me, that feeling. And it was not at all awkward. It was just right. Just perfect. Just pure bliss.

Wait… I can’t believe I did it. I mean to have written this second post. I guess it really is not that hard after all. Alright then… we shall do this again tomorrow.

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