Facebook Releases App

Facebook launched another app today.

It does something that you could previously do in the regular Facebook app, except now it’s a completely separate app.

Features of the app include something you could already do in the Facebook app, another thing you could already do in the Facebook app, and a third thing you could already do in the Facebook app.

There is also a fourth feature that was not previously available in the Facebook app, but that seems like would have been easy to just add without going and building an entire new app.

The app is available to download for free today. Eventually, if you want to do this thing on your phone, you will be forced to download the new separate app. This app’s specific function will be removed from the main Facebook app and you will be prompted to download the separate app. An unnamed Facebook spokesperson offered a vague, unconvincing rationale for why this had to be a separate app.

“Here is Facebook’s vague, unconvincing rationale for why this has to be a separate app,” the Facebook spokesperson said.

This new Facebook app joins that other new Facebook app, which was released last month to indifference, and that other other new Facebook app, which was released two months ago to universal dislike. Some are also comparing it to yet another separate Facebook app, which you probably already forgot existed. Oh, and remember that other app that Facebook released, which seemed kind of cool at first? If you think of it, let me know in the comments. I forgot what it is called and I am too lazy to look it up.

Anyway, this is another one.

Will this app turn into a potential competitor to the well-known rival social media service that does the same thing but better? Probably not, and nobody is saying it will, which is why I raised the idea in the form of a question. There is little to no chance that this app from Facebook will even lick the boots of the app that it has been billed to compete against, but we are obligated to raise the possibility just in case by some unimaginable turn of events it actually happens. A representative of the dominant company declined to comment because seriously what would he have said.

I had the chance to play with the app for 45 seconds while also watching an unrelated YouTube video, and now I will offer my definitive opinion. The app is marginally better at one trivial thing, but also a little worse at an equally trivial thing. Also, there is a minor bug that will be quashed by an imminent update, rendering my concern meaningless. Finally, in a broader sense, no one will ever use this app, so my opinion about it is irrelevant.

Alarmingly, privacy advocates and cybersecurity experts are warning that certain provisions within the app will leave users vulnerable to snooping. A Facebook representative assured me that she had reviewed the contents of my phone and that I had nothing to worry about, however.

Facebook’s separate app that used to function within its main app is available now in the App Store and whatever Google’s app store is called. If you’d like to begrudgingly download it and pointlessly grouse about the space it’s taking up on your home screen, you can get it right here.