The 4 Best Things That I, Jason O. Gilbert, Wrote in 2015

2015 sure was a busy year for me, Jason O. Gilbert, a writer. I’m proud of so many of the pieces I published this year, which I think showed my growth as a writer, as a Web publisher, and as a person.

As has become the custom, I’m looking back at the pieces I am most proud of from the preceding year. Though it was difficult to whittle down, I chose what I consider to be my 4 best.

And so, without further ado, here are the 4 things I’m most proud of having written in 2015:

1. Hamilton: Probably the most successful thing I wrote in 2015 was Hamilton, a hip-hop musical about one of America’s founding fathers. Tickets now cost hundreds of dollars, and even the President saw it. I am definitely proud of having written Hamilton.
2. Purity: This year I also wrote Purity, a 700-page novel that unfolds over a single day at the Gowanus Whole Foods. While not as critically beloved as Hamilton, Purity is still something I’m proud of having written.
3. This article about Anne Hathaway sending her eggs back 4 times: Okay, let me set the scene: I’m out to breakfast at Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, California. I’m nursing a major Paul Masson hangover, so I order one of their famous Bloody Marys and a big plate of hashbrowns smothered in catsup and onions. I’m about to dig into the taters, and then I notice something: Seated at the table next to mine is film star and former Oscars host Anne Hathaway.
   “Wow,” I think, “Anne Hathaway, eating breakfast next a schmo like me? Unreal!!!” I’m excited, but I play it cool, this being Hollywood. Oh, Anne Hathaway is at this restaurant? Big whoop. I wrote Purity.
   Anyway, I can’t help but looking over to see what Anne has chosen for breakfast. The waiter has just brought out her plate: a poached egg, an English muffin, and an avocado. Nice little breakfast, nothing out of the ordinary there.
   But then the trouble starts. Something must have been wrong with the plate, because she sends it back. Could’ve been anything: egg was runny, hair on the dish, avocado was browning. No clue. Anyway, couple minutes later, a replacement plate comes out from the kitchen. Same dish: poached egg, English muffin, avocado.
   And get this: Anne Hathaway takes one look at the plate, and sends it back again.
   Well, now I’m sitting up in my chair, let me tell you. Anne Hathaway, star of Rachel Getting Married, has sent her breakfast back two times. We’re talking Catwoman here, people!! Something must have been seriously wrong with that poached egg for her to do that, I’m thinking. So, eventually, the waiter comes out again, and he’s got this nervous look in his eye. And frankly, I’m nervous for him, too. Is the poached egg going to be suitable for Anne Hathaway this time around? Will it please Anne Hathaway? The whole joint is watching. The waiter places it down in front of Anne, who regards it with something above contempt. She shakes her head. Again, something is wrong.
   Anne Hathaway sends back her breakfast for a third time.
   At this point, I’m on my cell phone. I call up my friend, an editor at the New York Daily News, and I’m covering up the mouthpiece with my hand, whisper-screaming into the phone. “I’m here at breakfast next to Anne Hathaway, and she’s sent back her breakfast three times. THREE TIMES, Ricky. You hear that? That’s a story.”
   But Ricky, he’s not sure. Lotsa people send their breakfast back three times, especially with a dish as temperamental as a poached egg. You order a poached egg, you want it poached correctly. You won’t accept a subpar poach, especially if you’re a poaching connoisseur.
   Still, I’m pleading with Ricky to let me write this story. “Ricky, baby, I’m an eyewitness. She’s sent it back three times. The egg. She doesn’t like the egg.” But Ricky’s not having it. He doesn’t see the story. Sending back a breakfast three times isn’t material for a newspaper. Call me when Anne Hathaway sends back her breakfast four times, Ricky says.
   And that’s when it happened. Just as Ricky says that, I see it out of the corner of my eye: Anne Hathaway sends her meal back to the kitchen a fourth time. We’ve got our story, we’ve got our headline. My editor Ricky tells me to drop everything and write this baby.
   Anyway, the rest is history. I paid my bill, rushed back to my hotel, and 73 hours later, I had a draft of “Anne Hathaway sends breakfast back to chef four times: report” into my editor. We’re talking to Netflix about optioning it for a miniseries — a Making a Murderer-type situation, only it would be called Making a Poached Egg.
   But that’s early stages at this point, I don’t want to jinx anything.
4. The screenplay for the film “Spotlight”: I learned a lot about journalism writing this screenplay for the movie “Spotlight.” I hope I win an Oscar for writing it. I am told I’ve got a shot.