To all the kids I’ve been before
Be wary — there are 12-years olds out there carrying burdens of a 25-year old human.
I’ve been a member of a certain Discord group for quite some time, and most of its members are, you know, kids and teenagers, maybe around 12 years old or above, or even younger; it kinda ranges from there. And it’s understandable, because the group caters to ONCEs, a fanbase of the prominent K-Pop girl group TWICE.
As I have observed, most of them are very active in conversations not only involving the group and who they stan but also about online games they play and hobbies they like, discussing each in its respective servers. They are even assisting each other in their school assignments and projects. Very nice of them. And, personally, it’s fun talking to them — I never divulged my age there so the kid talk comes out naturally in them when we chat with each other. The only idea they have with me is I have work. Some are even so generous they give me points and credits, which I can utilize within the server.
And just recently, I got ranked there, which meant I can access some hidden servers there, such as this one I’m very curious about.
And upon getting in, it was a shocker. I mean, I saw another side of these very same kids I’m conversing with on the main server. What’s in it then? Apparently, this is where members can air out their problems of all sorts, mostly within their family, emotional and mental breakdowns, and then some.
I haven’t read the entire room yet but it pains me to see these youngsters already suffer the problems I got through when I’m already past their age. One shared his mental breakdown that occurred because he got loaded up with school activities and her parents are expecting her to accomplish it all in no time just like how a xerox machine must print all one hundred copies of a hundred-page book within the day. Another revealed about her occasional mood swings that has taken a hit on her emotional well-being, even landing to the point it irritated people around her. Then, just recently, I, together with some older admins, had a deep conversation and sharing with another member who dealt with depression that resulted in her losing confidence and hold on, almost put her life in near peril.
Some key words right there: mental breakdown, mood swings, depression. I used to know that those monsters can come at you in your teenage years, but how did it happen that it’s also affecting their younger versions now?
Is technology to blame? For me, I’ll point fingers to it. It’s one obvious reason why most youngsters fall into the throes of severe mental health problems. Technology has connected us to the farthest that it disconnected us to the nearest. Children get too attached to their screens, and they tend to lose connections to their family, and the intervention becomes a heated one too, leading to expletives being shouted out and objects flying out of nowhere along the way. Additionally, social media has seemingly established the new gold standards, and of course, with its advent, everyone has to follow suit. When you get bullied online for a picture you posted or an idea you shared, the pain goes deep down and all the dominoes fall after it.
READ: How does technology affect mental health?
And the second problem is a rip-off from the former — the connection to the virtual world disconnects a child from the real world, and to his/her family. Because they like to cook food in the apps they play more than do it in the kitchen with the family, a strong affair gets burnt. The child does not even want to be disturbed while on screen, and when they got out of it, they are so tired they’ll just head over to bed. What was lost? Conversations with the family, bonding with the family, I mean, almost everything that must take place within the four walls of the place supposedly called home.
But sometimes, the story goes the other way. Because kids can’t beg for attention, love, and care from their parents and siblings, they resort to gadgets for the temporary relief. Yup, much like a certain guy with a letter starting in ‘J’ who has a girlfriend but got lost in the way and went on to find another one and cheat, ya know. I thought love is the easiest thing to give, though, why does it seem hard to even lend a percentage of it now?
READ: A cry for help: Mental illness, suicide cases rising among youth.
READ: How does the PH fare in mental health care?
And shall I also share about how academics also have contributed to this alarming mental health fiasco among the children? I’m sure not only y’all know it, but you could be under it now.
I just turned 22 today. Admittedly, I miss being a kid, those times when the only thing you’ll worry about is if Mom will wake up if I try sneaking and walking my way out of the house to escape siesta and play tumbang preso with my childhood buddies, and what she will use to whip my ass off if she caught me out there. When you’re a kid, back then, you can’t have 99 problems, or have that many at least. But now, when you have 99 problems, kids around you would tell you’re very fortunate enough to only have problems that many. And then, we have guys like Joey de Leon who downplays mental health problems as a ‘made up demon in the heads of those suffering from it’.
Point being is, kids should not be suffering this kind of mental penury at all, at least for now. After all, kids should be out there playing their hearts out with their friends, but, hold up, yeah, I know, we’re in a pandemic, and the afternoon playtime habit is now impossible to push through. But, I still wonder, they’re all at home now with their family, but why do these problems still exist?
I got tired looking for answers, so, I’ll just share what I want to see.
Parents, as the foremost institution in the household, must act up to their roles. Make sure to always check on your children if they are going through something, or shall I say, be like their best friends to them for a while, but never instigate them. Don’t pressure them, too, but, instead, help them out in their academics, and reward them accordingly. Be their shining light, make them feel special. And patience is the key, too. And, wait, if you’re a plantita or plantito, good for you, why not involve your kids on your daily gardening routine? Who knows, they might even feature your plants on Instagram (except they featured it for sale, lol) and brag about it, which I think is a refreshment from their usual sharing of game scores and achievements there.
And, for the kids, how about taking some screen time off? Did you know excessive screen time can affect your eyes, and if it prolongs, you might not be able to see your parents, your friends, or even your crush in full color again? Anyway, try doing activities with your family. Aside from gardening, you can also join them in household chores, and make it a fun experience. Enjoy your childhood, but be responsible, too. When a school task needs to be done, do it straightaway. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Don’t practice being a couch potato, because as we all know, a potato is dug from six feet under, and leniency has proven itself to bring people nearer to the grave (READ: Procrastination is not a habit. It’s an art.). And, remember, make memories with people in it at these times, when you can still see the world in high definition and full color, when your arms can still carry toys and not paperworks, and when your legs can still take you places and get bruised mostly from playing and not from working. As a former mainstay in that episode of life, please enjoy it, take it from me. I didn’t enjoy my childhood so much and it shows up at my age right now. And, most importantly, when you got problems, do not face it yourself always. Share your thoughts at times, and from there, you’ll realize you’ve got a listening company after all. You aren’t aloof.
And, lastly, stay away from love and romance. Your biggest heartbreak at this point shouldn’t come from it, but from you losing the title match in the online game you’re playing, when you came oh so close.
And, another one, the last one, really, buy bitcoin.
“Don’t regret the past that has already happened. Don’t even fear what the future would bring to the table. Just enjoy the present, this moment you’re currently in. Or, better yet, learn from the past, live in the present, and plan for the future, kid.”
