A Just and Thriving Society Must Grant Equal Rights to all LGBTQ Americans
Growing up, I first became aware of the gay and lesbian community and the discrimination against them as an adolescent. One of my first jobs as a teenager was at a bookstore in the Montrose neighborhood of Houston. At that time, this neighborhood was the center of gay life for the city. The bookstore was no exception. Most of my coworkers were gay and some became awfully close friends. They were mostly young adults and included me and the other teenager who worked there in their social lives. We went dancing together at gay nightclubs and frequented late-night restaurants that were also popular with the gay community. As we grew close, I learned first-hand about the discrimination they encountered on a regular basis. I can’t say I was involved politically at this point; I just never understood why anyone would be denied equal rights based on who they loved. These were some of the most fun, loving and interesting people I knew. People chose to hate them without even getting to know them as people. This was one of the worst injustices I knew about at that stage in life.
In college, I identified with many liberal causes, but I was not active politically on any issue. This changed when I was in medical school and the Republican National Convention came to Houston. I trained in clinic defense to help women avoid the hundreds of protestors who had come to town to try to shut down abortion clinics during the convention. Although I did not know the term yet, this was my first experience of intersectionality. The doctor supervising me on my clinical rotation, who was gay, allowed me to skip clinic that week to participate in the counter-protests. I realized that as part of a marginalized group he was willing to help other marginalized individuals, including women who had their own personal and private reasons to terminate a pregnancy. I knew then that to me part of being a feminist would always involve helping other minority groups, including LGBTQ Americans and people of color. I learned much more than medicine from this wonderful physician.
As a pediatrician, I often would find myself supporting children who identified as LGBTQ and their families. One family in my practice, with which I became remarkably close, has made this connection personal. From an early age, the parents suspected that their son might be gay. I encouraged them to allow him to express himself in whatever ways he was comfortable and expose him to non-traditional families in children’s books and socially if possible. This wasn’t done by singling him out, or asking him if he might be gay, but simply by including many options in discussions about families, marriages and child-rearing. For example, telling him as part of explaining the birds and bees, “When two people love each other, they express that love in special ways and might even get married or have children. That might be a man and a woman, two men or two women.” As a preteen, he wasn’t interested in sports, so they enrolled him in drama classes which was an instant hit. He went to a summer camp that was very progressive and encouraged acceptance of all types of people. I loved watching as he grew to be a very self-confident, happy, and quirky teenager. He truly seemed to be comfortable in his own skin. At the age of 15, he came out as gay to his family and me, and no one was surprised. They were incredibly supportive, and he continued to be well-adjusted and thriving socially and academically.
We were all surprised when he became depressed in late adolescence. His usual self-confidence seemed to have disappeared overnight. While he continued to thrive academically, he spent hours in his room alone and gained a large amount of weight. He only wanted to eat and sleep. His family was genuinely concerned and asked me for advice. They continued to support him and fortunately were able to pay for him to get appropriate mental health care. The reason for the change became apparent when at the age of 20, he revealed to all of us that he identified as non-binary. They asked for continued support and understanding as they tried to live authentically. For now, that includes using a different pronoun and avoiding gendered nouns such as son or brother. In the future, there may be other changes: laser hair removal, hormone suppressants or other treatments, different clothing or hairstyles. Already with counselling and coming out to the family and close friends, this young person has become happier, lost weight, and is more active again socially. Hopefully, with acceptance and continued mental health treatment and family support this young person will not be one of the 40% of transgender youth who attempt suicide. Transgender youth and adults are at a much higher risk for suicide than their cis-gender peers. Research shows that family support and acceptance, along with appropriate treatment does make a difference in this risk.
My relationship with this young person, and others like them, is why I support allowing all individuals full access to appropriate mental, hormonal and surgical treatments for gender dysphoria. I have been fortunate to have many close relationships, through work and socially, with many members of the LGBTQ community. I personally know so many who are wonderful partners, friends and parents. They are contributing to our cities as doctors, lawyers, artists, athletes, businesspeople and every other profession imaginable. To reach our potential as a just and thriving society we need to grant full and equal rights for all Americans, including LGBTQ Americans.
I am enormously proud to be a member of Hadassah, a national women’s organization that, among many other things, also supports equal protection under the law for persons of all sexual orientations and gender identities. In July 2016, Hadassah issued a formal policy statement to reaffirm this support. They had previously advocated for the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act and signed amicus curiae briefs for 2 Supreme Court rulings, United States v. Windsor and Obergefell v. Hodges, which extended federal rights to same sex couples. The 2016 statement recognized that despite progress, discrimination of LGBTQ Americans continues to be a problem, including bullying, harassment and violence directed at these individuals. To quote from that statement, “Hadassah strongly opposes all efforts…that would selectively limit or deny civil rights to LGBTQ Americans. To further ensure equality for LGBTQ Americans, Hadassah also calls upon federal, state and municipal governments to enact new public accommodation and non-discrimination measures…” As many states are now pursuing legislation that will further discriminate against transgender individuals and their rights to use the bathroom of their choice, to participate in youth sports as their true self, and to even be able to access medical care that their doctors deem appropriate, organizations like Hadassah that stand up for these rights are more important than ever. I only hope that they will see the need in this time of intolerance to again reaffirm this commitment at their next annual conference.
I hope in the future that all young people like my patient will be accepted for who they are and feel comfortable expressing their identity publicly and freely. Health insurance should cover any necessary medical or psychological treatment. And no one should be forced to use a bathroom in which they are not comfortable or denied the ability to serve in the American armed forces. I know that this will take much hard work both in education and advocacy from individuals like myself to overcome many people’s intolerance and prejudice. But when I see so many young people, including my own children, who are so supportive of LGBTQ rights, I allow myself to stay optimistic. My young adult children tell me that their generation does not understand why so many older Americans want to discriminate against LGBTQ Americans. To them, it should not be an issue at all. Everyone should love and marry who they want. And your private life should not impact your employment. With advocates like myself, these young people and groups like Hadassah, America may soon embrace nondiscriminatory laws and practices.
We will be a more perfect union when we do so.
