My Problem With Setting Expectations and Writing (or, Introducing josh.txt)
Well, that took too long to write.
It is sometimes daunting to look at a city at a fast pace from the perspective of a vehicle: too many buildings to see, overcrowded sidewalks, a good about of street vendors with cases of cigarettes, and then coming back to my perspective. It’s probably what I see while sandwiched by people that are just as tired as me at a crowded LRT, or maybe at a UV Express after waking up from a quick nap. All I’m trying to say though is that when I try to focus about something like doing stuff for my undergraduate, or maybe backlogs for my organizations, and even writing for myself, I tend to have a hard time focusing.
Expectation Setting and whatever this blog is
My experience with setting expectations is well, pretty bad. I tend to aim too close to the sun, burn myself out, and then feel bummed out because I expect too much for myself. There’s a difficulty in knowing my limits, because I feel limitless. There’s a difficulty in confronting my imperfections, because I feel the need to be perfect.
I hesitate on writing because I know I should write as if I was like my writing idols. My self-expression should be impulsive but calculated, I should be perceived as skillful yet balanced — that writing is a sacred practice passed on from generation to generation, and it is not one tradition that I should not break with my mediocre musings on a world bigger than me. These thoughts are the huge skyscrapers and haggard pedestrians in the city of my mind, clogging my brain while telling me to avoid doing the one thing I’ve always loved doing the most. I’ve expected so much — well, too much — from myself and what I produce, and it’s led to everything but written works.
So here’s something new that I’ve been trying to hold back on doing.
Hi, I’m Josh Valentin, and this is josh.txt: a collection of writings that circle the life of a political science sophomore and community organizer that attempts to live through new changes amidst a global pandemic, and well of course, post-pandemic Philippines.
Introducing josh.txt
Well, that took too long to write.
I have been sitting on this project for too long, it has been almost a year wherein I made this Medium blog — keeping this empty because I felt that the white space wherein you draft a Medium post was mocking me because I couldn't fill it in with words. Now I’ve finally written the backstory of why this project has been held back, it’s now time to bring you into the hows of this blog.
We’ll separate the contents of the blog to two: the revised and non-revised. The premise of these two is that regardless of the form, imagine what you’re seeing in Medium just like it is coming from a text file from my laptop: the place of birth of most if not all of my written content.
For the revised content, josh_final.txt is one of the more complete pieces of work talking about the topics I love the most. Whether it’s about political science, popular culture, music and movie reviews, or concept papers for a study, josh_final is composed of polished thoughts — and most importantly, a literature review filled blog post. josh_final comes from submissions I submitted from my classes (with consent from my professor), passion-projects I want to share to people, and the classic 2 a.m. intrusive thought.
A series that — well, one of the reasons why I have started this blog — is entitled Notes on Democracy: a discussion of the state of democracy from the perspective of both a Gen-Z undergrad and a community organizer for an ecumenical youth group. This is a requirement for one of my courses, but will be continuing this blog after the term. More mini-series will come soon!
Non-revised content will be tagged as josh_draft.txt and will be made available through rare posts like this, but will mostly be channeled through the Medium newsletter feature. As I try to figure how to do this, drafts will be sent through newsletter format, and most of the time will ask for you (the reader) for your thoughts and opinions on the draft. These drafts will then make its way to a josh_final blog, either in a whole new form or maybe sticking to its draft origins. I say most of the time because newsletters will sometimes be made to make statements on developing stories and issues. These will be responses to developments in issues such as human rights violations, students rights and welfare issues, and *hot* pop culture moments. Of course, your thoughts will be crucial for these statements and I would like to know your opinions!
Problem solved?
Now that this has been launched, what now? How many posts will be made per week? per month? per year? On average, how much will I be writing here? Will I even be writing at all?
Well, lets see.
This is a new commitment for me, especially since I have not blogged ever since the time I made a Blogspot account in Grade School and even my Tumblr account from Junior High School. But I have written some stuff for myself and other campus and independent publications, so I think I have this one in the bag.
I’m going to be honest, this is going to be a tough commitment, especially with a almost fully booked schedule, but writing has a very special place in my heart: it has been there for me to help me go through so many things, and has become the number one go-to whenever I want to express myself.
And so, hopefully, I never forget who this blog is for — not only for myself, but for the (cheesy) love of writing.
