Amah, I want to spend more of my time with you
you will always be the number one in my heart.
Amah, I want to spend eternity with you, in this house where you used to go to your garden in the morning and then came to my room at 9 a.m. to scold me for waking up late. I am sorry that I misinterpreted every scolding you gave me as anger. I should have known you were just trying to teach me how to be responsible with my life.
Amah, I love spending time with you. Sleeping in your room and listening to your stories about how you met Grandpa, how you took care of your five children, and about the people who borrowed huge amounts of money from you. I don’t mind if it’s the same stories over and over again. I love to hear every story you tell and I wish my brain could capture every moment I share with you.
I love seeing you sit on your sofa in the living room every afternoon and then fall asleep. I love seeing you lost in thought and I wish I had a superpower to know what is going on in your head. Amah, please don’t worry too much about life. We won’t leave you. We will take care of you with love and you will be fine.
Amah, I am sorry for not being the granddaughter you deserve. Life often overwhelms me. My mind becomes cluttered and full of endless war. Sometimes I don’t pay enough attention to you. Sometimes I ignore you. Sometimes I raise my voice. Yet, you still tolerate me. You try to understand me. You even defend me when our family talk bad about me.
Amah, I hope we have more time together in this life, so you can see me achieve the success I’ve longed for. I will travel the world and send you all the pictures. I will visit more often, sleep in your room, and I hope you’ll scold me like you used to when I woke up late.
I hope we have more time. I want to cut your nails, make your tea in the morning, and brush your gray hair. I want to accompany you to the doctor’s appointments, help you water the flowers in the garden, and eat dinner with you while discussing the political situation in our country. I also long to see your warm smile every time I come home and you tell me I always smell good.
Amah, I am sorry for not being a good granddaughter. I wish I had understood you better and been wiser. It’s my first time being a granddaughter, and I didn’t know what it meant to take care of you at first.
But now, I understand.
I hope I can spend more time with you to show you all the love I have.
Amah, I love you and I love taking care of you.
