Being Celebrated in a Fleeting Life
After all, life is only temporary, so let’s celebrate it.
4th grade was the last time I celebrated my birthday. Since then, my birthdays have just been days when I get a year older.
There were no colorful balloons, no candle-blowing, no feasts, no gift-giving, no invitations to close friends, or even big parties at that slightly spicy fried chicken franchise. They congratulated me, but there were no more celebrations.
From there, I grew into someone who isn’t used to celebrating or being celebrated. To the extreme, I even thought that celebrations were tacky, wasteful, unimportant, and pointless.
Crave and Desire
To me, all those celebrations were just temporary euphoria, a way to distract from the fleeting nature of life.
Consciously and humbly, I realize that these thoughts in my head are merely a defense mechanism — a way to mask the fact that deep down, I actually want to experience a celebration. I crave people who wholeheartedly celebrate my presence.
Perhaps this is the seed of the narcissistic and self-centered tendencies that are so rampant these days, but "Oh, how delightful” it would be to be surrounded by people who are grateful and happy for our existence.
Aside from my desire for attention, all these conditions have influenced how I relate to others. Emotional closeness with a few dear ones feels hollow.
Sure, I remember when they had a birthday, graduated, got a new job, or earned a promotion. But it never crossed my mind to celebrate or give a gift for each of their moments.
How Should I React?
My unfamiliarity with celebrations also confuses me about how to react when receiving a gift. In these economic struggles, who wouldn’t be happy to receive a gift? We all love free stuff. Moreover, it is delightful to have someone who truly cares about what we want or need.
Two months ago, my sweet-cute-lovely girlfriend organized a small celebration for my birthday, and it was truly amazing. She surprised me with a ticket to a professional musical theater performance — something I never imagined I’d get to experience.
Afterward, she bought me a late-night artisan burger and gave me some personalized gifts. It was all so incredible, but somehow, I felt like I expressed less than I actually felt. It was deeply meaningful and wonderful to me, but I ended up looking like I wasn’t happy.
Some acquaintances — especially men — are in the same boat. Since they’re not used to celebrations, they often feel unsure about how to react when being celebrated. Even though they’re genuinely happy, many of us grew up in environments where expressing emotions openly was discouraged, leaving us confused about how to show our feelings.
If needed, I would borrow the Avengers’ time machine to go back to those moments, to be present and celebrate each one with my closest people. I would show joy when receiving every gift and demonstrate that I enjoy being celebrated.
Celebrating a Fleeting Life
However, what’s the point of living in the past? It’s all over and done with. I can’t deny that the stories I’ve been through have shaped who I am today. It would be a shame if I regretted each phase of that journey.
My task now is to move forward, celebrating every aspect of life, celebrating every smile, celebrating every bit of hard work, celebrating the fleeting, celebrating every small step towards who knows where. For the record, all this chatter applies on an individual level, not to an institution or organization that neglects its primary responsibilities.
Celebration isn’t always about reaching a big milestone in life. Every small thing we take for granted is precisely what we need to celebrate. As wise people say, a big achievement wouldn’t be considered big without small steps.
Going back to my earlier statement, all those celebrations are just temporary euphoria in this fleeting life. And because life is fleeting, that very impermanence is what we need to celebrate.
