Choosing the Presents
I unintentionally ran across a long-lost friend in a coffee shop last month. We talked for hours, updating each other on our lives. She was enjoying some leisure time before starting work at the new office, and during that transition, she had just accomplished a 10-day meditation program. It was utterly not an easy journey — she had to go 10 days without using her phone (basically any gadgets), was forbidden to talk to anyone even the roommates in that program, and all she had to do was practice meditation. Such an uphill battle that it was possible to only think about giving up and going back home in the middle of it. As someone who loves to read about mindfulness, my understanding of meditation is just on an intellectual level, thus I was moved to hear her experience.
She said that after a day full of meditation, there was always a monk’s sermon session every evening. I stumbled upon a lesson; about facing something we dislike. For instance, we despise the opinions or judgments made about us by others. Let’s consider it all as the presents. The fact that they could always knock your door is simply inevitable. You have to take a look at it as well, and ‘bam!’, they give you presents. However, you are free to refuse the presents. You have that option. It’s still lingering in my mind; hence I’ve been practicing it ever since.
Someone told me I was an incompetent person while I’ve tried my best — I refused the present.
Another person compared my physical appearance and stated I was unattractive — I refused the present.
A person I dislike rambled about their standards of happiness and said that I haven’t reached that point yet — I refused the present.
Refusing those presents isn’t equivalent to ignorance and anti-critic. I keep trying to be open, but what’s the point of accepting unsolicited and irrelevant opinions and judgments? I stopped those presents from entering my heart. I remember someone threw the ‘presents’ at me years ago. It was like, I accepted it all, gave a 5-star review, and said “Well-received, thank you.” Oh God. Those reactions drove me into misery for years.
The present for this context isn’t always the bad thing. It’s everything people can throw at us, even compliments. The point is, it’s wise to choose the ‘presents’ we receive in this brief life.
P.S.: I wrote this short piece on Just Write #2, a session by Journal Kita.
