Growing older is such an anxious thing…
As I grow older, I realize the weight that I carry also grows heavier. I’m in my final year of uni right now and about to graduate. I have a lot of worries about what the future holds for me. The uncertainties of post-graduation life lead me into hundreds of overthinking sessions.
I realize that as I graduate from uni, I have to live my life on my own, officially doing things as an adult. I have to be responsible for my choices, knowing that they will define my journey forward, influencing my career, relationships, and personal growth.
In the middle of the chaos in my mind, I remember that I have no safety net, so I have to be careful as I step on every path I choose. I have no backup, because I’m the backup plan. I’m not hustling to get others validation or to compete with anyone else, but because I have to survive. The only reason I’m striving is to create a better storyline for my life. That pressure leads me to be scared of failure. The ‘what if’ questions run through my mind — ‘What if I fail?’, ‘What if I don’t make it?’, ‘What if I lose everything?’, and the list goes on.”
I’m also aware that as I step to the next chapter, I will face some losses, whether it’s about people, time, energy, or anything else. That is also my worry, and I can do nothing about it. As I prepare the transition from this uni life to the unpredictable world beyond, I remain focused on my goal of building a life that reflects my values.
I don’t know what will happen next, but my task is just to strive hard. God will lead me to the best thing, and I should be thankful for that.
Morning will come, it has no choice, so I have to always face the unpredictable things and start another day.
