How life’s ‘no’ leads to a bigger ‘yes’
“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”
Lately, it seems like Bernadya’s songs are everywhere, especially Untungnya Hidup Harus Tetap Berjalan. The song starts with the lyrics, “Persis setahun yang lalu, ku dijauhkan dari yang tak ditakdirkan untukku, yang kuingat saat itu, yang kulakukan hanya menggerutu angkuh” it feels so touching and full of meaning.
When we are separated from someone who was once a significant part of our lives, we often grumble at first. But as wisdom grows within us, we begin to understand that the Universe always has a reason behind every journey it orchestrates. Even though the sword hidden beneath its wings may wound us, love gives of itself freely and never takes more than it has given.
Love cannot be owned, nor can it ever be fully possessed. We are often hurt by our own understanding of love, yet we willingly choose to bleed — consciously and joyfully.
At times, we must allow space within togetherness. Dance and sing together, but let there be enough distance, like the strings of a lute that vibrate in harmony yet maintain their own tension. Give your hearts to one another, but do not seek to keep them, for only Life’s hand can hold them perfectly.
Stand close, but not too near, for the pillars of a temple stand apart to support the roof. Just as the oak and cypress do not grow in each other’s shadow, we too must grow in different lights, complementing one another from a distance.
We often tell the universe what we desire — be it love, success, or a sense of belonging. We set our intentions, hoping that life will deliver exactly what we’ve asked for. However, life doesn’t always respond in the way we expect. Often, it offers not a simple “yes” but a lesson in patience, growth, and adaptability.
When you ask for a soulmate, you might have an image of that perfect person in mind. But sometimes life responds, “Not with them.” This can feel like rejection, a crushing blow to your hopes and dreams. Yet, it’s crucial to listen carefully to what life is truly telling you. Perhaps it’s guiding you toward someone who better aligns with your journey, or maybe it’s teaching you valuable lessons about yourself before that deep connection is meant to arrive.
Similarly, when you ask for prosperity, life may answer, “Not like this.” You may want wealth or success in a particular form, but life may be steering you in a different direction — one that will ultimately bring more sustainable and fulfilling abundance. By listening, you open yourself up to paths you hadn’t considered, often leading to greater opportunities than you first imagined.
The same goes for a sense of belonging. We yearn for community, for a place where we feel we truly fit. But sometimes life gently tells us, “Not here.” This doesn’t mean that belonging isn’t for you — it means there’s a different place where your gifts and presence are needed. What feels like exclusion may be redirection toward a place where you can truly thrive.
On the surface, these responses from life may feel like rejection. It’s easy to feel frustrated or defeated when things don’t go as planned. But in reality, rejection is often life’s way of redirecting you toward something better suited for your growth and fulfillment. The key is to listen, adapt, and remain open to life’s guidance, even when it contradicts your immediate desires.
When you ask for a big life — one filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment — you cannot continue to cling to a smaller version of yourself or your circumstances. Holding on too tightly to what’s comfortable or familiar may prevent you from stepping into the expansive life you’ve been asking for. Growth requires change, and often that change feels like letting go.
Life doesn’t always give us what we want in the way we envision. But when we take the time to listen, to understand the deeper messages behind what may seem like setbacks, we find that life is constantly guiding us toward what is meant for us. What seems like rejection is often the redirection we need to step into the bigger, more fulfilling life we’ve been seeking all along. The challenge is not in asking, but in being willing to accept life’s answer — even when it’s not the one we expected.
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell
Cheers.
