I see him deeply in love with someone else.
It’s the most painful phase of my love journey, witnessing the person I deeply adore openly declare his love for someone else. If someone were to ask whether he knew that I loved him, the answer would be “of course he knew, because we loved each other before.”
Yet, in the end, I see how ecstatic he is narrating his love story with another woman. He talks about how happy he is to have met this woman, how wonderful she is, from the beginning of their encounter to the development of their love story. I witness firsthand how he tells his story, with sparkling eyes and a wide smile. I’ve never seen anything like it before.
I’m happy for him, that he’s found his happiness, but the reality slaps me in the face, reminding me that his happiness isn’t with me. Can I remain calm and happy? When for me, a part of my happiness is him.
At that moment, all I could think about was where those aspects present in her that seemed absent in me. I wasn’t just speculating, but I also asked him directly. He said she’s warm and full of affection, attentive and ever-present, unlike me, who’s often focused on my own ambitions, and she’s always there for him even though we’re in different cities.
How? It’s agonizing, isn’t it? Hearing him share stories about his love that’s not for me. It’s indescribable, every word he utters about his happiness with another woman feels like a lightning bolt striking my heart. But it’s all happened. He’s happier even though it’s not with me. My happiness is my responsibility, not his.
Can I be sincere if he’s to be with her? It feels like no one could sincerely give away the person they love to someone else, right? Just like me. But I’m not a coward. I dared to fall in love, so I must also dare to bear the pain. When he chooses another woman and allows that woman into his heart, then it’s time for me to leave his heart, isn’t it? It feels too suffocating if one heart is occupied by two occupants, so I must leave that heart.
On what basis do I bid farewell? I bid farewell because he chose someone else. I’m forced to step back by circumstances to exit this love story journey. Everything ends slowly, with some things starting to fade away little by little.
I have never regretted meeting him at all. And this isn’t just an ordinary parting. It’s a valuable lesson from my life journey.
