Internalized Misogyny, What’s Worse Than That?
When there’s no more place left for “Women Support Women” in this patriarchal society.
For almost twenty three years I’ve lived, it’s inevitable to prevent myself from getting sexist or misogynistic comments. I bet a lot of women in this society have experienced it, at least one time in their life. I hate to admit it, but it becomes a habit by our society that makes everyone think it’s a normal thing to do.
We, as a woman, have been belittled and cornered for a long time. There’s something about the way we dressed, behaved, or something that we normally did that bothers them. As if the more we did something greater, the more hatred it gets.
The worst scenario I had in my mind, is it will keep happening until some of us decided to lock our own potential then keep it by ourselves. Pathetic, isn’t it? The patriarchal society around us will always find and show power to abuse women. I thought it’s already the worst of all, but I was completely wrong.
Have you ever, at least once in your lifetime, heard or saw any woman that you know very well or not were indirectly against or discriminate other women with nonsense reason? I bet we’ve seen it before. One time my friend made a comment about someone — a girl and also a friend of mine. I showed a picture of her to my friend cause she asked me who’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.
Her response took me by surprise. She said, “I think it’s the make up that makes her look pretty.” Then, she added, “Which one is the prettiest, me or her?” I was taken aback.
Not only that, I once heard one of my other friends also made a comment about a girl who smokes, drinks, and go to the night club. I don’t think make such a comment will make us better than others. It won’t change people’s perspective of us by saying that.
Internalized Misogyny Among Women Community
By hearing such comments, I realized that misogyny can come from any community — even the woman itself. This could be one of my worst possibilities that have came true, a woman hated her own community.
According to UMKC Women’s Center, internalized misogyny is when women subconsciously project sexist ideas onto other women and even onto themselves.
This idea of hating women just worsen their well-being and social status in society. I thought a hatred that come from men is already enough, but surprisingly it’s not. Women have endured a lot by facing this everyday.
It’s just confused me these days, where does the urge feeling of women to hate and compete each other come from?
My personal view thought that it’s all because of our patriarchal society that made our own community against each other. We know that it’s likely hard for women to be heard and seen in this kind of society, so that’s why — perhaps , they feel like need to do something that our society want to hear or see. People hate women a lot to the point they ended up hating each other by degrading themselves.
It started to become a competition to which one is better, prettier, skinnier, or less feminine. All of it only to be acknowledged by society and pleased men cause some of us might think that it’s the only way for us to be seen here. Apart from that, that’s why beauty standard exist.
Being a woman is not a race, we need to stop this unhealthy cycle. By having that idea planted to the people in society, I don’t think there’s enough room for “Women Support Women” movement to grow anymore. Hating women makes this movement seem misinterpreted and people will think it’s for supporting what they thought was wrong.
For once in my life, as a woman, I will always hope that there’s still a place somewhere in this world for women to live peacefully also being heard and seen. A place where they can embrace themselves as part of mankind. We’ll be damned if our next generation still faces it in the future.
Some people just have no idea how powerful it can be if women support their own community, the future impact will change the whole society.
