Look at the ‘bad things’ more deeply
Anger, sadness, feelings of neglect, and lack of appreciation are undeniable parts of life.
Rather than resisting them, we can transform our perspective, turning these experiences into opportunities for growth, which we often call learning. Before moving on from these emotions, it’s essential to recognize their importance and validate them, preventing them from rotting into something more harmful.
Studies have shown that bottling up negative emotions can lead to various physical and mental health issues. While we may hide behind a calm exterior, our brain isn’t fooled — it processes stress and signals our internal struggle. To break free from the cycle of dwelling on negative thoughts, we must practice consistently until embracing positivity becomes second nature. However, each person’s emotional journey is unique, and I don’t intend to prescribe a one-size-fits-all solution — this perspective comes from my own experiences.
Embrace and validate every emotion
Every emotion has its own significance and deserves acknowledgment. I used to be someone who quickly dismissed negative feelings, rushing to replace them with positive ones. But as Haemin Sunim beautifully explains in Love for Imperfect Things, emotions are meant to be felt and processed, not avoided. Once accepted, they pass naturally.
Some may say, “Don’t focus on the person who brought you down — stay positive.” While that advice holds merit, I find a different approach more helpful. When you’re wounded, emotionally or otherwise, it’s essential to confront it. Understand its depth, and don’t shy away from the healing process, even if it’s painful. Much like tending to a physical wound, neglecting emotional injuries may lead to deeper harm. Facing your pain allows true healing to occur.
It’s just a bad day, not a bad life
Remember, one challenging day doesn’t define your entire life. When struggling, take a moment to pause and breathe. Our mistakes or missteps don’t erase the good we’ve accomplished; they simply remind us of our humanity. Embracing our imperfections allows for growth and helps us avoid repeating the same mistakes. At the end of each day, reflect on the good moments — whether it’s enjoying a meal, breathing fresh air, or making someone smile. Over time, you’ll realize that bad moments are fleeting, just minor setbacks on the broader journey of life.
Don’t look back in anger
As I revisit old journal entries and photos, I’m reminded of the moments that have shaped me. The challenges I once faced have broadened my perspective and helped me grow. Looking back, I see how pain was an essential part of my growth, teaching me to learn from my mistakes. Now, I understand that every hardship is an opportunity to become stronger and wiser.
Oftentimes, it’s in our darkest moments that we discover our deepest strengths. Pain and discomfort, though unpleasant, can push us toward self-discovery. It’s during these times that we redefine our values, learn what truly matters, and cultivate resilience. As Viktor Frankl once wrote in Man’s Search for Meaning, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning. When we can attribute a sense of purpose to our struggles, they become stepping stones toward growth, rather than roadblocks to happiness.