Sawang sinawang
I felt that familiar sinking feeling when I read email saying I didn’t get the job. After all that hard work, it stung to be rejected again. As it turned out, my thoughts turned to my friend Afan, who had just been recruited by that same company. I was truly happy for his success, but also a little envious that they chose him over me.
Then just a few weeks later, Afan called me. His voice sounded hoarse and strained. He had been diagnosed with tuberculosis from breathing in so much cigarette smoke at his new office. It seemed his coworkers didn’t care that their smoking was making Afan sick. That’s when the Javanese proverb “sawang sinawang” — looking at one another — took on a deeper meaning for me personally
Javanese wisdom“sawang sinawang” emphasizes that our journeys are unique, but our struggles and triumphs are ultimately woven into a larger tapestry. Just as I shared Afan’s joy at his success, now, as the sting of rejection settled in, his eyes held a newfound understanding of my mild heartbreak. We were finally seeing things from each other’s perspective.
As I thought more about it, I realized my job rejection may have protected me from something negative down the road, like an unhealthy or toxic workplace culture.Afan’s experience made me grateful for better health protections at other workplaces.
In the end, I realized we all face our own challenges in life, even if they aren’t the exact same ones. True empathy comes from recognizing that shared human experience, no matter what individual path we’re on. With the wisdom of sawang sinawang as my lens, I’d recast shadows of doubt, revealing pillars of inner strength. I deeply appreciated what I did have — my health, my supportive circles, chances to find an even better job opportunity that nourished my spirit.
More importantly, sawang sinawang awoke me a renewed commitment to being a force of compassion in this world. By truly looking upon one another, opening ourselves to the beautifully connected Mosaic of our hopes, our struggles, our joys and sorrows, we weave bonds of understanding that elevate our existence. I vowed to meet each person’s path with an empathetic gaze, offering a supportive embrace during the inescapable trials we all must endure. . In recognizing our shared humanity, we rediscover the wisdom that we are unlimited beings, made whole by the miraculous community of consciousness we call life.