The Art of Letting Go

This is the first time I have published writing in English, and I am talking about love. I didn’t know I would be more comfortable writing in English when writing this topic.

When I went solo traveling, I met my senior from high school. She said, “Create more experiences with different people in the same places. If you revisit a place, you will have different memories.” After she said this, I visited several places I had been to with him.

First, I went to the station for solo traveling and took the same train we used in the past. And yes, I cried. The memories of meeting him came back like a puzzle, creating sad recollections. I remembered the activities we did before he moved to another city. I recalled my feelings when we first met after our long-distance relationship. It was so emotional for me. The station brought both happy and sad experiences. But now, I have sad memories. I try to give myself some affection and remind myself that it’s okay not to be okay. We need time to heal, and that’s okay.

Second, I went to Tahura with my best friend. I went into Gua Belanda, Gua Jepang, and the deer enclosure. I remembered when we went to Tahura. you were so happy and excited. I remembered your laugh, your smile, and your scent. When I was sitting on the bench, memories replayed of you feeding the deer. I remembered your funny attempts to “talk with the deer.” It was so funny. I smiled when I remembered this.

Third, I went to the Cikapundung River. This was the last place we met before we broke up. I went there with members Nyarita community. I walked so fast because I was late, so I couldn’t enjoy recalling memories of us. Maybe in the future, I will go there again.

Fourth, I went to Farmhouse with my brother. Farmhouse was my favorite place when we were in a relationship because we could take pictures, walk, breathe fresh air, and have deep conversations. I remembered when I went to Farmhouse, you gave me some Lego flowers, and your gesture melted my heart, haha. Today, I went there with my brother and recreated what we did: taking pictures in the same spots, sitting on the same bench, and doing other activities we used to do.

Fifth, I went to Gasibu with Mimil. Mimil supported me a lot when I broke up. I remembered when you were running, but I stayed on the sidelines to watch you. I remembered when we bought cilung, and I bought cilung again when I went to Gasibu. I also remembered when I was painting. Haha, it was so funny.

There are still many places I haven’t visited yet, but I promise I will go there another time. I want to deal with every situation that happens in our lives.

I often wondered why our relationship ended, but I found the answer when I read on Medium

When you meet me, I carry my past, present and future with me and maybe not every part of it will amuse you. Some parts are fragile, some parts are broken, and some parts are ready to bloom.

The perfect partner doesn’t exist everyone has an inner child, and everyone has baggage. Choosing wisely is choosing to love the one whose baggage doesn’t cause you deep suffering.

After finding this quote, I realized you were not the one for now