Time dilation
You’re born from the city of entangled history
It once choked me to death, and i was lucky enough to be brought from the afterlife
A week after consuming you, now a big clot stuck in my throat
And i’m not ready to swallow it just yet
To let all of these be meaningless
And you will then remain as a fiction, nowhere near reality to me
You made me bare as you stripped off my clothes
Untangled the last piece of my linings and thoughts away
You kissed my belly, and licked the trails of my stretch marks, down below
You assured me that I was wanted, and my legs were already surrendered
I was on the top of my lungs, couldn’t breath
But yours was a death bed,
Had lost long ago, now the soul wanders
And left me all alone inside
Perhaps your drink reflected your past
So you flushed it down all the bitterness that lingered
You need two, to remind you of home
The home of stacked wounds polished by gold
As a facade of your frail egos that you built upon lies
And the only rock left untreated is your heart
Waiting to be soaked by your favorite whiskey,
that triumph the bruised heart of yours,
‘Cause the only language that your body speaks is torture
And love is an utopian tale no one offered to you
Feelings won’t passed the fort you built
You’ve already befriended numbness so you ain’t scared any
But i wonder what kept you wake till dawn yesterday
When we lived for the night to answers each other thoughts
Was there any chance your heart flutter even for a bit?
And what’s with all the act? was it a lie you told to yourself?
Sedimented now it became a firm ground of your beliefs
You made your own cult, and refused any signs of affection
“You don’t have to feel sad after all it were left behind”
But i’m a girl with too much feelings
And that’s why you ran, afraid it’ll fill the voids in your empty heart
You may gulp down all the feels you had afterward
And then back nested to the ground where your body rests
So let this eulogy accompany you to grave
Where Inside I wrote thousands prayer for your loss
Because I do hope in the next life, you’ll learn how to forgive yourself for the things left unsaid
I hope that you stop hurting yourself just because that’s the only thing you thought able to feel
I hope you witnessed small gestures that warmed you insides
that drove by love universe sent to you, a child of air, let it free you
And I hope there comes a day when you’re finally ready to receive love
So you’ll be able to hate yourself a little less
And if you’re incarnated again as a real you,
Without mask, glasses that guard your fears
Please send me the signs,
I’ll pick where things left,
And i’ll find my way to you.
