When will we know it’s time to stop pursuing our dream?
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When I had just graduated from college in 2022, I experienced an extreme lack of motivation to pursue my dream because I knew many things I shouldn’t have known. I actually didn’t want to know about some things that could affect my mind, but it was inevitable. I’ve always been the type of person who avoids being nosy, even with my closest ones. I would leave a conversation without hesitation or remain inscrutable on purpose. Knowing too much is restrictive for me. Personally, I could say that 2023 was a dark year. This situation left me in a position where I didn’t want to think hard about my dreams anymore.
A year ago, I lost my sense of direction. I lost my sense of purpose for living life to the fullest. I was really confused about what I wanted to do with my life so I just did whatever I could. For example: working in a field I didn’t want to. The difficult decisions and my self-doubt really overwhelmed me. It felt like I couldn’t be responsible for my own life. I sank deeper and deeper into my own darkness and it was really hard to find the light. Even when the light was bright on my path, I truly saw nothing.
I once stumbled upon a video on X. Unfortunately, I forgot who said this:
Your dreams never actually die. They just sleep during times when it feels like we can’t pursue them. But when we reach old age, like in our 50s, they will revive and we will realize a big regret because we didn’t give our all.
My point is, how do we realize whether we have given our all or not? I once read a conversation in a manga series by Tsubasa Yamaguchi entitled Blue Period, where the characters fail to enter Tokyo University of the Arts (Tōkyō Geijutsu Daigaku). Most of the students have to apply more than twice even there are students who should try as many times as they are willing to.
The character named Yakumo met some people who have the same dream as he does. Two of his friends have applied to TUA five times while Yakumo failed at his first attempt. When he took the exam again next year, he was failed again and two of his friends failed as well. His friends sent him message they were no longer striving to enter TUA. They gave up on pursuing their dream of becoming a TUA students. On the other hand, Yakumo’s friend named Sanada successfully entered TUA.
Long story short, Yakumo was offered a part-time job as an art teacher by Sanada. He works for Sanada’s acquaintance, who also wants to get into TUA. While doing his part-time job, Yakumo met Hachiro. A long time ago, Hachiro had dreamed of being a TUA student, but he had given up.
Both of the characters above had failed to enter Tokyo University of the Arts. However, Hachiro gave up on pursuing his dream after he failed while Yakumo still wants to strive for it.
Both arguments are valid to me. There are some things worth fighting for multiple times, and there are some things that better to let go. Because of this manga, I have some questions on my mind.
What are our limitations in doing something?
When will we know it’s time to stop pursuing our dream?
Is it true that there are no limits to what we can obtain or achieve?
Or am I just making excuses not to pursue my dreams? thinking my life problems are the barriers that impede my progress?
I often reflect on how I feel disillusioned by the things around me that I can’t control, which reminds me of a quote by William Kamkwamba
“Think of your dreams and ideas as tiny miracle machines inside you that no one can touch. The more faith you put into them, the bigger they get, until one day they’ll rise up and taken you with them.”
