Words in Silence
Some people choose to be silent when their heads are noisy.
There are many fears that are probably only in our heads. Sometimes it looks vague and is covered in tangled threads, disheveled, and not properly unraveled.
People are sometimes hard to predict. Like about their character, about their lives, especially about their feelings.
Sometimes they want to be angry but they manage to suppress their anger.
Sometimes they want to be sad but they don’t want to appear weak.
Sometimes they want to express their love but they are afraid that their love will not be reciprocated.
There are many words that are difficult to express directly. And in the end, these words were only kept in silence.
I may be someone who is difficult for other people to guess, when I am sad, when I am angry, or maybe when I love someone else. Honestly, sometimes I look fine even though I’m not. I feel like other people don’t have to know when I’m sad. I kept quiet and said I felt fine.
I’m grateful that I can control my emotions well, but actually, several parts of my life might be better if they were expressed. I find it difficult to express how I feel, so I keep my words in silence. Even though I always ask myself, why am I afraid to express my feelings?
Talking about rejection, maybe in some parts of our lives we often experience it. Not only about love, but it can also be about work, the environment, and so on. One of the reasons why people don’t want to express their feelings is because of fear of rejection. It’s the same with actions, sometimes we don’t do them because we’re afraid of challenges.
Talking about love and words, love is often expressed through words. Although many people also interpret it in different ways. I am one of them, choosing to love in silence. The words about love were also spoken in silence. I expressed it silently and it became words that unraveled in prayer.
How to know? can love to be known when it is in silence? how to interpret it? how can it be interpreted?
Often we worry when the end of love expressed in silence only ends in regret or being trapped between the terms “right person, wrong time”. But actually, there is nothing wrong with how love can be interpreted.
I learned that there is nothing wrong when the words we say are said in silence. I can’t force myself when I choose to be silent. At least God knows. God knows through the prayers we say.
I really like the quote from Imam Al-Ghazali who said “What is destined will reach you, even if it be beneath two mountains. What is not destined will not reach you, even if it is between your two lips.”
No matter how far away the impossibility is, what we think is difficult to happen, the things we pray for, the words we say in silence. If it is destined for us, it will find its way to us.
I learned that we don’t need to be afraid of what will happen in the future. We must believe that God always knows what is best for us. There is beauty implicit in patience. Whatever words we want to say, the whole world doesn’t need to know. We can choose how we want to say the words. Shout louder or say it silently.
May God make our path easy. Hopefully, it will be easy for us to continue moving forward. May the worries in our heads disappear and be replaced by calm in our hearts.
Thanks for reading! Reach me at riskaislamiyah@gmail.com // Instagram @riskaislmyh // Ketika Kita Podcast on Spotify // https://ko-fi.com/riskaislamiyah
