You’re on your own, kid

chel writes
Journal Kita

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Photo by Andrew Draper on Unsplash

When I was little, I always lived in contentment.

Every morning, breakfast was ready on the table, and I’d enjoy it while watching cartoons.

Every time school ended, my parents were always there to pick me up and ask about my day.

Every weekend, we’d visit exciting places like game arcades or toy stores to bring me joy.

And on every birthday, I’d wake up to cakes and presents, the first things I’d see.

I always felt happy when those things happened. Everything I had and experienced felt so easy to get, and my young self thought that life was beautiful, that life would always be filled with joy. And will keep being like this for years to come.

Surrounded by loved ones, favorite foods, and cherished toys.

Everyone and everything around me contributed to my growth and well-being, creating a safe and nurturing place where I could become a better person each day. A home.

I always believed my life would be fine, and if things went wrong, they would take care of it.

I had no worries; everything was always under control.

Then one day, my life was solely mine. And I couldn’t help but feel scared.

Suddenly the real world was too terrifying and I found it hard to face it by myself. I began to stumble.

I didn’t know what to do and was never ready for anything that would likely happen in the life I pursued.

Slowly, I realized that my life had always been mine. Even since the very first start of my life.

And part of me died in the house I grew up in.

It brought the realization that we are all alone in this world.

No matter how constant our work or progress was and how many people surrounded us when we were little, in the real world, we are alone.

And for the first time, the excitement for life diminished, and as time went on, that enthusiasm started to fade.

And it died, over and over, a billion little times.

We truly are on our own, and the more I grow, the more I realize how little I still know.

I’ve learned countless lessons from school, from the intricacies of plants to the mysteries of planets and the science of the human breath, but they never taught me how real life truly works.

They didn’t teach me about paying taxes, managing money wisely, avoiding scams, overcoming failure, or mending a broken heart.

With all that knowledge, they never taught me how to truly live, even in the house I grew up in.

We are truly on our own, and I believe that’s the harsh truth we must accept.

The contentment we once enjoyed is no longer there; we must now work on it ourselves.

No more well-served breakfast on the table; I have to earn it myself now.

No more parents picking me up from school — because hell, I’m no longer in school — and I’m considered old enough to find my own transportation to work.

No more weekend plans, and no more birthday cakes and presents from loved ones. Sometimes, I even need to remind them that it’s my birthday today.

But that’s okay; I think that’s just how life works. We’ll grow eventually, and we’ll find our way in navigating this challenging life, alone.

And we’re no longer that little kid who always thinks life is beautiful.

Or maybe that little kid is still in there somewhere within ourselves, and it’s time for us to take care of them because we’re the only ones who can. No one will help us again.

The people who were with us when we were little will always be there for us, but they won’t guard us anymore; that’s just how life is.

In this real world, we need to sail the ocean by ourselves.

We are always on our own — but I no longer think that’s a hassle anymore. It’s terrifying, but it’s also exciting. The bright side is that we can always discover what we want to do without worry.

I know, the unsettling truth is that; we’re on our own now.

But the amazing thing is; we’re on our own now!

Yes, this is a reference to Taylor Swift’s speech, so thanks to Taylor for the encouragement!

Thank you for journeying your time through these words. If you’d like to show support, you can leave a tip below (next to the subscribe button) or you can buy me a coffee here. Wishing you safety and warmth!

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chel writes
Journal Kita

write articles and personal thoughts. publish drafts regularly. sometimes in english or indonesian :)