The Cost of Caring What People Think

Stop living your life through the eyes of a stranger

For the longest time, I cared what people thought about me. The reality is that to some degree I always will care what people think about me — but isn’t that one of life’s constant battles for us all? A distinct memory I have was when I started realizing I could sing. I’m not sure to this day what continued prompting me to move my singing from my bedroom to a stage, but it must have been the people I surrounded myself with at the time. For some, that transition is obvious and easy. For me — it was incredibly painful, and long. I was often so nervous, I couldn’t project my voice. When you could hear me, I was so shaky you’d think I was about to pass out. It was a gruelling few years. I started in the background doing harmony, and had actually become quite skilled supporting others with backing vocals. At the time, I had no idea i’d ever be on centre stage, sharing my between-song jokes, anecdotes and stories of the songs themselves, and then actually singing the songs themselves, but eventually, that’s exactly what I did. I recorded a studio album, a few singles, began leading worship, and even travelled a bit to share the music that was so important to me. When I say I used to be terrified to sing in crowds, I do not exagerate! I used to be so nervous, I could barely squeeze a note out of my mouth. And if I did, I couldn’t even hit the note because my throat was so constricted from nerves. I cared so much about what people would think if I sang an off-note, and trembled at the thought before I even sang the off-note. It was a vicious cycle.

Here is my point. If I had allowed myself to continue this way, and let the fear overcome the ambition, resolved to stick to my bedroom, then I certainly would not have had any of the experiences and opportunities I ended up having. I say this because this is not just an Amy thing. This is an everyone thing. I am certainly not claiming to be the poster child for going out and making things happen, but please ask yourself this: What is it that you could accomplish in this short life, that you’ve been wanting to start but haven’t because you’re afraid what others might say or think? Life is always worth living, but are we truly having the best quality of life when we are allowing others to control what we say or do? Sometimes it’s family, and often times it’s complete strangers who are the ones dictating, and affecting some of our life decisions!!! Isn’t that sad?

If this has been you, here is one of the best pieces of advice I think I was ever given: “People don’t think about you as much as you think they do”. Isn’t that comforting? A soothing balm to the anxious, and fearful? If we resolved to focus on what we wanted to accomplish, leaving all the “possible” naysayers aside — what would YOU accomplish? You’ll never know until you step out and try!