10 Crazy Covid-Mandated Commandments We’ve Had to Learn to Live With. Enough Already!
by William Seavey
1. Until recently (pre-COVID, of course), it was illegal for anyone in Alabama to wear a mask in public, except for masquerade balls and parades. NOW the balls and parades aren’t ok either, with or without a mask since they’ve all been cancelled! (See last item below).
2. When restaurants were closed for inside dining, so too were restrooms in many cases. Employees still had them but they were marked employee only. IF they had them for patrons they were hard to find, as in a restaurant bathroom door in Oregon that was was even camouflaged as a gasoline pump!
3. When Covid’s march across the land diminished, the stockpiling of tp and paper towels ground to a halt — presumedly putting that manufacturing industry into a recession. And the work of plumbers probably lightened up as well… (Well, for the paper manufacturers you certainly could say sh-t happened…belatedly).
4. Concerts of all kinds — even those in the Great Outdoors — were cancelled almost universally during the pandemic. This despite the chances of catching COVID outside, with basic social distancing, being practically nil. (On the other hand, experts said that singalongs probably weren’t such a good idea either because infected mucous particles could fly from nose to face and vice versa.) Singing in the shower has likely made a comeback…
5. Researchers say COVID can be transmitted on everyday objects for an indeterminate period of time. So anything you touch, such as fruits and veggies in a supermarket, could cause contagion. But how many people actually WASH their veggies? (Some do, of course). And Covid scrubbers are nowhere to be seen at the stores…
6. Those who have completed their two or possibly only one shot regimens shouldn’t have to wear masks — the CDC says the chances of catching COVID is .0001 percent (only 5600 out of 66 million vaccinated have gotten it). Yet the good guys are being shamed or shunned if they/we don’t wear masks in public because nobody knows if they are safe to interact with…go figure.
7. The CDC’s two sided vaccination status cards with hard to remove stickers and officials’ signatures for two shot completions are said to be forgible — so not really useful for much — even travel. (Source: travel columnist Chris Elliott.) And databases on vaccination status aren’t available in most states — and may never be — to give you easy/safe entry onto planes or into inside places in general.
8. The handshake, hug, kiss and even elbow bump are seen as potentially COVID causing (if there were ever a plague that promoted chastity and social isolation, this one takes the cake!)
9. The paranoia about flying on airplanes continues to be pretty entrenched yet planes filter their air (one airline says their inside air is replaced every three minutes) and personnel sanitize nearly every interior surface. Yet airlines still require masks inflight. (If you really want to avoid infection, NEVER use their restrooms!)
10. Covid masks have no real uniformity yet they have been pretty much universally endorsed for protection from Covid. (But if you can blow out a candle through them they are pretty much worthless. Clear plastic face shields allow air in from below making them pretty useless unless combined with masking.)
Conclusions: While Covid has been deadly (500,000 plus deaths in the U.S. since March, 2020), the official response to its spread has been, shall we say, uneven and even sometimes unscientific. It walloped us and it took months for us to come to terms with it. It’s still raging, especially in Michigan and India, but Alabama ought to be able to go back to banning masks in public — even if it seemed nutty to begin with (and even a misdemeanor), haha.