3 lessons I learned moving to NYC
I was 19 years old when I decided to move to NYC. I was a 2nd year student studying biology at the University of Minnesota Twin-Cities. I’d never been to NYC nor did I know anyone there except my agents, whom I met for a day in LA. This opportunity came to me because I was part of a team with my commercial agency for a showcase in LA. I did well and got offers to be represented in NYC and LA, but the catch was I had to move of course. At the time, I was only considering NYC because I knew I didn’t need a car. The idea of becoming an actor in NYC was also more appealing than becoming an actor in LA at the time.
I was at a crossroads with my life. Should I go or should I put it off until I get my bachelor degree? My family wasn’t going to support me dropping out of college, but I did it anyway. The UofM would hold my spot as student for 2 years and I was starting to feeling the anxiety of the “what ifs…”
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
What could go wrong? Ha….ha….hah.
Below are my 3 biggest lessons learned from living in NYC.
Lesson #1: Bed bugs? Run.
When I moved to NYC, I got an Airbnb in Queens for a month. During my stay I started feeling itchy and noticed a lot of bites on me. I even caught a few of them!
Below is my Airbnb review.
“I had an overall bad experience with Kritcha. Right off the bat, I didn’t have a great first impression. When I arrived, I flew in late because of a 4-hour flight delay. Throughout delay after delay, I updated Kritcha frequently of what my current status was. When I arrived about midnight or 1, she would not see me. She said she was too tired and she had to get up early the next morning. I was forced to find a different place to stay even though that night was paid for. During the course of my stay, I noticed I had a lot of bug bites on me. I asked the other 2 guys who stayed with me in the apartment if they also had bites, which they did as well. After constantly being itchy and accumulating bites, I told Krticha what was going on. I told her there might be bed bugs in the apartment. She reacted defensively about it and said she never had this kind of problem and accused me of bringing them. There was a 0% chance that I could’ve brought them. I’ve never come across bed bugs in my life and I had just arrived in New York. Later, we discovered that one of the other mattresses had bed bugs and they were crawling into my area. Instead of getting an exterminator, she decided to handle it herself. She claimed to have taken care of it, but I was still accumulating bites day after day until I left. My body was covered in bites. After the other guys left, other people (I think Kritcha’s friends) were coming in and out of the apartment for various stays. She claimed that no one was bit except for me. “The bugs just like your blood” — Kritcha. Towards the end of my stay, I asked Kritcha if I would be able to stay another couple of days because I hadn’t finalized where I was moving to. She said it would probably be fine. She hadn’t booked anyone else to stay at the apartment because of the bed bugs and that if I gave her a heads up, it should work out. I decided to extend my stay and I was going to tell her that evening when I saw her back in the apartment, but she sent me a text saying that she had already booked the room and I had to move out the next day. Overall, it was just a stressful and itchy stay with her. Side note: the only thing enjoyable about the stay was Kritcha and another person offering me food that they cooked.”
I ended up finding an apartment in Brooklyn and signed the lease hastily to get out of my current situation. I signed a lease for a room in a 5 bedroom apartment….that’s right. A 5-bedroom apartment with 3 opera singers as well. Also my “bedroom” was hardly a bedroom. It was about the size of a big walk-in closet, and I had a small window on the ceiling. I was paying $725/month (+ utilities) for basically a modern cell.
When my Uber came to pick me up at my Airbnb, I placed my suitcase with all the clothes I had next to the trash and got into the Uber. I wasn’t going to risk bringing bedbugs to my new apartment. All I had was the clothes on my body, my backpack, a fan, and an open cardboard box with miscellaneous crap in it. My new room also didn’t have a mattress yet. I slept on a yoga mat for 2 nights. A few days later I called Airbnb and told them what had happened in the past month. They told me since I didn’t call them immediately, they couldn’t give me a refund. Instead, they sent me a $100 voucher to compensate for the traumatic experience. I never got to use that voucher, sadly, haha.
Lesson #2: Gig hustles aren’t sustainable
My first jobs were working for multiple catering businesses and delivering food for Postmates. Looking back, it was definitely not worth it. It was inconsistent, stressful and exhausting as hell. It was annoying that catering gigs could be anywhere in NYC (or even outside!). Catering jobs paid on average ~$18/hour for like 6 hours. I would get maybe 2 catering jobs a week. Then, I would deliver for Postmates on my bike and maybe do 2 or 3 deliveries every hour. 1 out of 3 customers would tip so I would make like ~$15/hour biking my *ss off. My goal was to work a catering job or delivery shift everyday, and sometimes I would work both jobs in a day.
*Side lesson : Always research before making big purchases.
I got sold on buying a brand new all rubber wheel bike. I had recently got a credit card with 0% interest for the first year.
BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER.
The bike cost a fortune (~$750) because I opted in for features like steal-proof bolts on my wheels/bike seat and a pizza rack holder in the front. The bike was also heavy as f*ck!
Sorry, back to Lesson #2.
Instead of gig hustles, I should’ve focused on finding a good server/bartender job right off the bat. Unfortunately, there’s a catch-22 in the industry. Lots of places were hiring servers/bartenders, but no one wanted to train you for the job. The most popular question would be: “Have you worked at a NYC restaurant though”? I would say no and I would get immediately denied even though my family owned and operated restaurants my whole life. The point is: I had to lie. I had to “fake it till you make it”. I took this so far as to learn how to bartend from YouTube and got hired as a bartender shortly after.
If I worked a couple days during the weeknights and worked Fridays/Saturdays at a good restaurant, I should be netting with tips on average ~$1,000/week. When I was working 6/7 days with catering jobs and Postmates, I would make on average~$500/week. There was a short time I worked at a fancy restaurant where I had to wear a black suit and I was making on average~$2,000/week. I didn’t stay long at the job though because the owner tried to call me in on my days off and told me that if I didn’t come in, then I would be fired. WTF?! I didn’t move to NYC so I could be a server at your f*cking restaurant. Which leads me into my third lesson.
Lesson #3: Don’t waiver from my goals
The reality for most people is that we need to work a side hustle(s) to keep us afloat until we get the job that we actually want. Unfortunately, NYC can be very distracting and I talked to so many individuals who regretted all the months/years they wasted in NYC. I had a coworker who was the lead singer of a screamo band (I’m for real). His side hustles were being a barback and a real estate agent. One day he told me that he’s leaving NYC and moving to DC with his sister. He was tired of the city. He was even writing a book about wasting 10 years of his life in NYC.
Luckily for me, I was so young that no wanted to hang out with me. I was able to save a lot of money and focus on my career. I was able to go to auditions during the day, attending acting classes, and private coaching sessions. Down the line, I got auditioned for numerous programs and got accepted into the BFA program at Rutgers Mason Gross School of the Arts. It’s regarded as one of the nation’s top acting programs. Some alumni are Midori Francis, Brandon Flynn, and Sebastian Stan.
While all these experiences sound sad and troublesome, I assure you that I love NYC. I’ve had so many fun experiences living in NYC like the nightlife with friends, dated a “Crazy Rich Asian” (story for another time), and developed amazing relationships with lots of wonderful artists who’ve inspired me to do more and better work. I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons in NYC, like the lessons I learned from my parents and mentors when I was younger. I’m not as naive as I was before; and I’m making better choices everyday.
I recently moved to LA because of acting opportunities. I’m an Asian-American actor, and I’ve heard a lot about the demand for Asian-American actors out here. Some of my closest friends live here as well. I feel like life is telling me this is where I should be right now. I’m confident that I’ll be back in NYC soon with more lessons surely to come.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” — Neale Donald Walsch
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