I know yours. Do you know mine?
They stand in front of each other, hands at the butt of their guns. A haystack with the shape of an M barely rolls nearby. The silence is cut by a loud bang.
The villain with his evil eyes falls immediately. And the hero raises his hands to the crowd, unsure whether he should remove his mask or not.
Being anonymous on the internet can be described as a western.
The Good
This is my first ever anonymous account created on the internet. Well, foolishly I did some more at some point in my life. But this one is the first intentionally anonymous one.
In a culture of doing more for more money and who the heck cares about your health, I felt like I needed an escape. I need a place to pour my feelings and thoughts into. And I do it almost daily.
This is my Daily Life Escapism.
After having two different, not anonymous Medium accounts, and two decades of a writing career chained to my drawer, something awoke inside of me. The moment the weight of “who will read this” lifted over my shoulders, my fingers ran on the keyboard like a firstborn horse.
My creativity became a rocket without a landing pad.
I can share pieces of my life, along with lessons and thoughts I have, and it feels great. The mystery is also nice. Someone who bothers reading everything and knows me well (few do) will figure out who I am.
But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
The Bad
Having no consequences oftentimes feels like walking around with a loaded gun. And some feelings you can hurt, cannot be brought back by any defibrillator. You’ll end up removing the bandages off your self-destruct to reveal you’ve become an ugly troll.
I have always been a rational person.
I would be the last one to jump to a conclusion unless I am absolutely sure of it. It’s a symptom of my lacking assertiveness. Even though, in a professional sense, at work, I have the confidence of a hundred-year-old professor.
Hence why even if I feel someone is wrong I will try to see their side of the coin.
Even if I am against what someone thinks or says, I will write a nice comment explaining my point of view and why they are wrong. But the power of anonymity had a stray bullet.
It was one of those posts of follow for follow.
I dislike this phenomenon and I think it spits in the face of hard work and growth over time. And the part jealousy part lack of delayed satisfaction is annoying me. So I’ve written a comment.
Horrible advice.
I know what you’re thinking. What an awful human being. Or maybe your pretty sure I’ve exaggerated. That’s the hard-on-yourself part of my mind. Because I hate causing others to feel the feelings I hate receiving.
I didn’t apologize. And I didn’t delete the comment.
I did get a nice comment back from the author and I replied more reasonably, explaining my point of view.
I could have deleted the comment, but that would have been the easy way out. The power of anonymity says nobody cares. And probably nobody does.
But I care.
And I believe in atoning for my sins. So the comment will be there. And it will be my burden that with great power comes great responsibility. And hopefully, I don’t have bandages to remove.
Because I don’t want to become a troll.
The Ugly
Trolls might be funny as a meme, but they represent the lack of Empathy a lot of people have on the internet. Hiding behind their masks they disassociate themselves from the person they insulted.
They lack accountability.
There is no real solution and I’ll be the last person to ban anonymous accounts. But there’s something to be said about an artist that can get a thousand incredible comments but break down in tears because of a single bad one.
So far, Medium seems to be filled with level-headed people, and I hope it stays like that.
The next time you’re on an anonymous account and want to bash someone, ask yourself how would you feel in that situation. The internet can be a cruel place but the change starts with us.
The Unknown
This is the plot twist you didn’t anticipate.
As an anonymous account, I feel like an anomaly amongst all the writers that display their names proudly. I am building a body of work for a brand instead of myself and it feels like the price of being different. But I’m fine with it.
And you seem to be fine with me.
Now I have to keep writing and expand upon my brand. And I promise I will wield my power of anonymity with a kind hand. I will be your critique but not your executioner, because each voice should be heard.
As for the wild west hero, he should keep the mask on. The people might need the symbol of a hero, instead of a flesh-and-blood mortal.
And if anybody is there to film it, will they ask themselves:
If you’ve enjoyed my writing and aren’t afraid of my jokes leave that finger on the clap button while you make your coffee. And while you gulp that nectar of life, click that follow as well.
