“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Family Dynamics Are Anything But Simple
Family. Such a simple word. Yet, it’s anything but simple. Everyone’s family dynamics are unique. Everyone’s family has been through different things. Had their moments of suffering as well as their victories. It has been my experience that family is one of the most important aspects of a person’s life.
I think too often it’s easy for us to take our family for granted. I know such was the case for me. When I was a young kid, I assumed everyone’s parents were like mine. That assumption couldn’t have been more inaccurate.
However, as you get older, you usually start interacting with more people. You become exposed to more situations and learn new things about yourself, about others, and the world around you. The world starts feeling like a smaller and smaller place.
Not Everyone’s Family Is Fantastic
And that’s usually when it happens. You either realize how lucky you are or how unfortunate you are to have the family you have. Harsh but true. Personally, I’ve seen some shit. I’ve seen friends of mine get neglected by their parents. It was as if they didn’t even exist. Other friends of mine dealt with abuse. Physical or verbal. Oftentimes, it was both.
Some of the things I witnessed left deep scars on my mind. I can’t even imagine what it did to my friends internally. But I can tell you what it did to several of them externally.
Some of my friends carried their hurt with them for years — they still do even to this day. One of them in particular, he had a rough home situation. His dad was a mean dude. I remember on countless occasions where he would tell me about times when his dad would call him names and belittle him.
His dad liked to drink too and I never once saw his dad come to school to support my buddy in anything. School didn't seem to be important. Education didn’t seem to be a priority at all. Sadly, my friend didn’t seem to be much of a priority to his dad in general.
Bad Things Usually Happen When Someone Has A Poor Family Unit
Several years ago, I heard from a mutual friend what happened to my buddy… He went to jail for pulling a knife on an old lady who lived in his trailer park. Was trying to steal her purse.
Weak family unit. No stable support system. No love at home. Now, he might still be in jail. Years of a man’s life — WASTED.
Of course, this was just one example of the negative effects of having a poor family unit.
I know of others though. Other friends of mine that dropped out of high school who now work menial jobs. Still, there are others who were in and out of abusive relationships for years. They were abused at home so they usually continued the cycle of abuse and passed it on to others. Sad to say they were another statistic.
Good Things Can Happen When You Have A Strong Family Unit
In my own life, I know how important it was for me to have two parents at home who were willing to sacrifice for me and my sister to have a decent life.
I was able to see for myself the benefits of having a strong work ethic and a strong moral compass. My parents set a fantastic example for me every single day. To be honest, I don’t know if I would be where I’m at today if not for them.
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.”
— Michael J. Fox
I also had plenty of friends who had strong family units. Many of them went off to good Colleges, received fantastic educations, and ended up with fulfilling careers. After reconnecting with a few of them over the past year or so, one of the main things my friends attributed to their success was their parents.
Their parents instilled quality values in them at a young age. My friends’ families supported them during tough times and cheered for them during good times. That’s the power of family.
Having a strong family can improve someone’s life in profound ways.
On the flip side, having a weak family unit can derail someone’s life.
So again, I say to you…
Family is everything.
Written by Brian Kurian, All Rights Reserved 2019