You Never Really Know About People
Human Beings are Deep, Dark, and Complex Creatures
We tend to wrongly assume we know the people close to us pretty well.
We think we know them better than they’re aware of actually — it’s in our nature to collect and store information, especially about people. Having as much information as possible about the people around you is a helpful survival asset, so obtaining such information and remembering it comes natural to us — we do it instinctively.
However, people are extremely deceitful, for a vast variety of different reasons. These reasons are usually based on fear or greed but nevertheless — it’s pretty safe to say there’s plenty you don’t know about the people you think you know best.
As people, we show others the parts of us we want them to see and try to conceal the rest.
From what I’ve seen, people typically share only certain parts of themselves — with certain, designated people. We seem to share a little of ourselves with everyone but nobody ever really gets the whole us.
Two different people in our lives, may know us as two very different people.
Personality wise, you’re probably not the exact same person at work as you are at home with your family — and you’re probably not the same person when you’re home with your family as you are when you’re at the bar with your friends. At least I hope not for your family’s sake.
Seriously though, we bury our deepest secrets and will stop at nothing to hide our darkest habits — all while displaying our virtues and trying to highlight our most admirable assets. It’s a juggling act we all do subconsciously.
We don’t do it with the intent of being deceitful — we do it because it feels necessary and it’s what we’ve always done. It’s all we know.
Think about it for a second, how much is there that your best friend doesn’t know about you and your life?
And I’m not talking about the things you just forgot to mention to them or never got around to telling them, I’m referring to the ones you’d be horrified to have them discover.
Maybe there’s even a thing or two you’re actively hiding from them. I get it, I don’t judge. Like I said — we humans are a dark and complex bunch.
My point is, if there’s plenty those close to us don’t know about us — why would we think we know any more about them, than they do about us?
Because the truth is, we don’t. We know, what they want us to know and what got revealed to us accidentally along the way, by default.
But we don’t know these people nearly as well as we’d like to believe we do.
And you know what — that’s absolutely okay. Because the truth of the matter is, every human being needs that space that’s closed off to the rest of the world. Parts of them, they don’t share with anyone else, regardless of how close they are with them or how much they love them. In an age where everyone is constantly oversharing, we need to take the privacy where we can get it.
I used the word deceitful to describe human beings above and although that’s a fairly accurate statement, I don’t believe trying to ensure what is private to you remains that way, is the same thing as being deceitful.
Lying and lying by omission are not the same thing — just like not telling certain people certain things about yourself, is not the same thing as lying by omission.
One involves purposeful deception while the motive behind the other is privacy and discretion.
The truth is, there’s things about your life that are simply nobody else’s business, unless you should choose to share them with someone.
Be it what kind of porn you like, the mortifying thing that turns you on, or what medication you’re prescribed. People shouldn’t know everything about you.
Take me for example — I consider my writing to be pretty revealing. There’s not a lot I haven’t touched on in my writing and even less I haven’t shared about myself.
But guess what, there’s still a ton about me and my life that I’ve never written about. Enough to fill a book with, I Imagine — but I’m not writing that book. Not now and not ever. Specifically because, I don’t want anyone to read it.
Because there’s some things about us, others don’t need to and just shouldn’t know and probably a whole lot more they’re better off not knowing.