You Should Really Use Your Horn Less

Brian Brewington
Sep 18 · 3 min read
Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash

I just watched some poor schlub stall out in the middle of the very busy road I live on. As if this wasn’t bad enough, all eight cars behind him held their horns down for no less than ten seconds.

Because God forbid little Billy has to wait two extra minutes outside of school to be picked up in his front running Father’s Cadillac. The world might end.

To make it all even more comical, thirty yards in front of the car that stalled out, was a red light. A red light people were dying to pull closer to, I guess.

I see this bullshit happen every day. People who are in a rush to go nowhere of any importance but feel the need to honk their horns like raging maniacs at any person place or thing who dares to slow them down from getting there in record time.

My personal favorite is the horn wars I witness on almost a daily basis. Drivers who honk, simply because they were needlessly honked at. A back and forth honk battle ensues between the two impatient imbeciles, now involving the rest of us innocent bystanders in their shenanigans. Like, really?

Granted, you should take everything I say with a grain of salt because I don’t drive. However, I’d like to think if I ever start to, I’ll never become these people. Mainly, because I find nothing more pointless than honking your horn. It is primarily a useless tool. A particularly annoying sound your car is only supposed to make in emergencies, like when another driver or pedestrian doesn’t see you and is at risk of being struck by your vehicle.

Instead, your average driver uses it as a built-in “fuck you” button.

At any slightest inconvenience, there they are holding the horn down. As if that’s somehow going to make their day better, or do anything but cause the driver they’re honking at to also beep. It’s just petty and senseless.

I imagine no demographic hates horns more than your 17 to 35-year-old female pedestrian or jogger. What exactly are the men who honk at them as they zoom by these women trying to accomplish?

It’s as if they honestly believe these women might try and catch up with their car and fellate them on their ride to wherever they’re going. Please, just stop.

This isn’t fucking Pornhub. This is real life. Nobody is blowing you on your ride to anywhere, my guy. So maybe just relax with all the senseless beeping.

She knows her ass looks good in those jogging pants, that’s why she bought them. She doesn’t need you or your horn to confirm it.

There was no point in any of the drivers behind the stalled out car I mentioned honking, it accomplished zero. Did they honestly believe the stalled out driver didn’t know they were there? No, they just didn’t care about anything, except where they were going and how soon they’d get there.

No empathy, no common courtesy, and no patience.

It sounds like most of our society as a whole, now that I think about it.

Luckily, the stalled out driver got his car moving again in under thirty seconds. Thank God, because otherwise there may have just been a massacre in the middle of my street. Oh, plus little Billy hates when Daddy is late.

God forbid he had to take a bus home one day or dare I say walk.

Journal of Journeys

Each of us are the narrators of our own unique stories, dramas and sagas. Journal of Journeys is a publication that takes pride in helping share those stories.

Brian Brewington

Written by

Writing About the Human Condition, via My Thoughts, Observations, Experiences, and Opinions — Founder of Journal of Journeys and BRB INC ©

Journal of Journeys

Each of us are the narrators of our own unique stories, dramas and sagas. Journal of Journeys is a publication that takes pride in helping share those stories.

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