TAM Diaries
What If I Can’t “Just Do It?”
Concerned friend, ADHD tool, and dissociating 9/24/24
Yesterday’s entry got me in trouble.
Upon waking, I felt much lighter. I started my day with a few light exercises and immediately sorted the long overdue laundry. The gloom of yesterday had passed with the storm It had left me a bit damp, but otherwise emotionally intact. Settling into my computer chair, I set to work finally getting back to the twin flame draft I’d shelved three weeks ago due to chronic insomnia.
I should have a counter like they do in dangerous facilities. “0 Days since meltdown” or something. After weeks of zeros, it’s good to feel like the counter has started up again.
But I digress. I got in trouble, and there’s no way around that bush. Yesterday, the ghosts of lingering emotion caught me in a stranglehold. I got deep and dark, publicly airing the journey. Somewhat. To be fair, that wasn’t all that happened in my mind, but it also wasn’t quite past the halfway point to as low as I have been. I thought it was safe enough not to get me on any watchlists while still being relatable.
For the most part, it was. But I didn’t account for how it might affect people who had heard that song and dance from me before.
