Screw You, I Mean It!
For a couple of months now I’ve been hiding on Reddit trying to wiggle my way through things in my life. The biggest game changer that was brought to my attention by my husband was this:
His “friend” can come by our home unannounced and drop off something for my husband, but calls my husband a drug dealer, preventing him from working an honest job in construction.
Now, you’re probably wondering how this all started. Honestly, I did not know this happened until he brought it to my attention today. Here, let me go back around October 27, 2023.
My husband and I were working hard paying down some of our court fees. I just finished pulling over 230 hours in worked hours the month prior. The call center work began drying up for me rolling into October. To add more damage to the situation, my husband had to sit out some of the tickets we could not pay for on time. This began putting more mental strain in me because my husband is my rock.
I mean, he may not understand it now, but he does mean a lot to me.
Anyway, the last several days in October was rough as hell. From keeping the kids quiet to making sure I don’t overspend on anything, I needed a break.
Suddenly, on October 28, 2023, I heard a knock on the front door shortly after 4:30pm. I work in the afternoon on Saturdays, and I had to hide in the bathroom that Saturday.
Whew, never eating sushi my husband left behind ever again 🍣!
After finishing my kitty business, I waltzed towards the front door out of caution. The kids ducked into their room quietly. My eldest saw me grab the biggest knife and hide it behind my back.
Paranoid, I did what any white folk in a horror movie would do and opened it up. First mistake…
When my husband was away, he gave me a quick call the day before (October 27, 2023). He told me not to open up the door for anyone. I promised him I would not do that unless it was my sister or my mother. He repeated his directions to me like I was some kid. This quietly made me mad because I already knew not to open up the door for anyone that’s not him or our loved ones.
Fast forward to now, without checking the peep hole, I opened the door and saw it was my husband’s close friend.
“Hey…”
“Oh..hey”
“So, um, he’s currently sitting out some time right now. I came by to drop off his keys. Did…did you want to take a ride and go see him?”
Knowing my socially awkward self, I declined the offer and switched up the conversation about my hair. That was when I cut my hair on August 31st, 2023, to cope with going one year after losing our son.
“Wow! It looks…cool? That’s something new. Well, having locs is a beautiful journey, but you will feel so much more freedom without them. It’s a great do over.”
I nodded and snatched the keys from him. Afterward, we quickly talked about my husband, and then I made an excuse to go.
“Yeah, I have to go. There’s a knife behind my back right now. Heh, thought you were a killer. Whelp, I got to go. Stab you later.”
“Wait, wha — ”
When I’m under pressure, I freak out a lot. Of course, I felt like I did everything illegal after realizing I have my husband’s house keys, but not his backpack or, well, my husband attached to it.
When my husband called me again, I told him what had happened. He sat quietly on the phone and asked me if I invited his friend in, if I screwed him, if I let him around our kids.
Of course, I said no. Why would I let someone in our home? But I understand where he was coming from. Then again, I left behind my “hoe-ing” days, so I’m not going to screw anything I see.
Like, I’m too depressed for that…and ugly 😂.
Well, things wasn’t okay when he came home. My little mistake triggered argument after argument. He grilled us both separately until I threatened to leave with our kids until he stopped. I get that a sense of trust was broken, but there’s only so much I can do to show you the truth.
Hell, even our kids vouched for me. So, why am I talking about this now?
November 2023 through March 2024, my husband worked construction with that SAME friend. Since March 2024, my husband hasn’t been back to work. We thought it was because of his weight. However, it was because of his friend or girlfriend or BOTH. I don’t know, but what was said was highly disrespectful.
Apparently, the reason I’m not working is because someone said that I don’t need a job anymore since I am a drug dealer…
We invited those folks multiple times into our home. I came out of my grieving comfort zone and showed a piece of my vulnerability with them. Their KIDS played around our KIDS. Hell, we comforted them when his friend lost two of his sons in an auto accident last year. Both of his sons were mere children, not even three or four years old!
I am LIVID to hear the truth that came out behind my husband not working. Sure, we do things to survive, but we’re mature now, and he hasn’t touched that stuff in years.
I don’t know man…
I don’t know….
If I could give my husband unsolicited advice, then he needs to stop inviting people into our home. They know where we live and see what we have. I guess I’m the “perfect” wife material, so they try to come after that. However, those same people that he once called brothers are nothing but dirty laundry.
Just like he made me cut mine loose, he has to choke on his own advice and clean up his house in his social circle. What I will NOT do is to watch him go down or have those who want him to go down take us all down. Bad enough, the one young man who helped my husband record called him a child predator and nearly had CPS knocking on our door.
My husband says it’s not that big of a deal, but what everyone fail to realize is the biggest social stigma equation in the black community.
If you’re BIG and BLACK you’re a target for ANYTHING! You’re seen as intimidating and threatening. And best believe cops love shooting our men and boys without hesitation.
Being called a PREDATOR and already have things going against him can create a lot of…yuck drama. But…as his good wife, I’ll smile and hope he sees what I see before someone crooked does and do him dirty.
I don’t want that, but I gotta make sure our kids are protected as well.
Hey y’all, sorry for the tangent, but this is bothering me a lot. To think we could trust those around us these days. For sure, I’ll keep my peace, but if it calls for it, I will speak my mind and hope he understands where I am coming from as his spouse and someone who loves him indefinitely. My husband’s a good man, and just trying to do what is right. A lot of our men are like him, and it is not fair to go against a good man who wants to care for his children, raise a strong household, and build a better future for us. Anyway, have a great day…
And take 5 shots for me…no 6.
