That day started as usual. Great expectations, hopes and aspirations like every other day. I got ready for my morning ritual - walking. Listening to the audio book stored in my mobile with the headphones, I took the shoes.As I wore the shoes I noticed something strange..new shoe (ok..it is 5 months old but for an Indian anything less than 5 years is considered new) suddenly appeared rugged. Few scratches on the shoe making it appear old. I started wondering how this happened. I used it two days back when it rained. The shoe became muddy. I remember having kept in the washing room to clean.Oops..it should be the maid. She has washed the shoes and cleaned it using the brush.
How do you feel when you realise someone has scratched your new shoes? or Having spent considerable money to buy , it was spoiled by an inadvertent or ignorant action of the maid. First emotion that sprang in me was anger. I moved on to complete my ritual - walking. When I returned home, to discover that the anger had evaporated. However, still I made sure the message is sternly passed on to the maid not to carry out such misadventures in future.
This episode left me pondering about how emotions determine our actions and decide the course of our lives. If the scratch has happened because of my action, I would feel guilty. But because the scratch is the outcome of someone’s ignorance or inefficiency, evokes anger and the scratch due to a superior force like boss, would leave me with suppressed emotion, fuming inside. In all three emotions will leave me broken.
Anger not only consumes the power inside me but also creates a ripple effect. It engulfs the other person in hurt and accelerate the anger in that person. Anger creates more anger. It becomes a relay race in anger.
Guilt is a pernicious disease. It will steadily and gradually kills the individuals internally by annihilating the self-respect.
On the other hand, helpless feeling leaves one with anger that eats internal peace gradually. It is like a Pressure cooker. The Pressure manifests itself at an unwanted time spewing anger. This leaves the closer ones vulnerable to the unexpected outbursts.
Watch the emotion that springs inside. Are these emotions helpful or hurtful.
I am reminded of a fantastic speech by my friend Aditya Maheswaran, a Champion Speaker and Management Consultant . He spoke about scratch. A glimpse of his speech is produced in the below video.
The scratches are inevitable and we end up creating scratches. But like Aditya mentioned the scratches will only remain until we polish it. I believe that only a yogi of some sort can lead life without creating scratches. The magnitude of the scratches and the magnanimity of the person involved, determine the effort required to polish it. The effort varies from smooth and subtle to mammoth and mountainous. Every scratch can be polished, every scratch leaves us with valuable lesson. Check out the quote by Mater in cars movie. I love this quote.
What is the scratch in your life that is stirring up some emotion inside you. Are you going to vent up your anger or drown in guilt. Neither will help.
Show your emotion with grace if you got scratched by someone.
Redeem yourself from guilt by polishing the scratch,if you are the one who scratched.
Some scratch may vanish over time. Like the scratch in the shoe. It faded away in two weeks.
If the Scratch will get healed anyway over time, Do we really need to vent our emotions and create a relay race of scratches?