I lost half of my crypto after falling asleep

Mar 1 · 4 min read

I woke up this morning expecting to be $1600 richer.

Flipping open my laptop, I glanced at the token price from the night before.

🌊 $2.72

The number flickered as my internet connected.

🌊 $0.54

I took another glance. $0.54?

Me, a genius yield farmer? Nope. I had officially become a degen dumbass.

Here’s how it all happened

I had been liquidity farming Midas Dollar (algorithmic stablecoin on BSC) for a few days, at around 6% daily APR.

Midas Dollar (MDO) was trading above $5 for a while due to demand. I was hoping for a huge pump with the release of (official) Midas Dollar vaults. But they hadn’t arrived.

Then, Midas Dollar started tanking more than it’s ever been, dropping below $4. I removed my liquidity and took a bit of a loss.

It was a minor hit, but I was discouraged.

That called for only one response.

Time to make some degen plays

My net worth was now around $4k. I sighed as I thought back to the days of farming $5k worth of fresh cryptographically-secured dollars.

How I longed for an honest day’s work. The PancakeSwap LP farmer inside of me grieved.

“Arrrghh!” I groaned.

How could I live without smelling the fields of fresh crops, laden with infinite APYs?

How could I live a life of purpose, when there were no ripe BEP-20 tokens for me to harvest()?

Each morning was a slog.

There was no reason to wake up anymore.

And then it dawned on me.

What if I set off in search of a new farm? A farm that was so novel that it was just begging to be filled with LP tokens? A farm that was yearning to produce 100-fold yields?

The time had come. I opened up Twitter and searched:

‘bsc launch’

There was a new spring in my step. My head was held high.

I was going to become the richest yield farmer on Binance Smart Chain.

The dumbest farmer on Binance Smart Chain

I skipped through newly sown fields, each with exciting new crops.

🌮TACO.finance and 🍅BORSHCH.finance caught my eye.

But there was one farm that stopped me in my step. I gazed at the gentle waves lapping against the shore of…

🌊 AquaSwap.finance

Pushing open the gate, I took a closer look at the APRs.

2,206,087,497% APR?

Total Liquidity: $0?

This was clearly incorrect. The APR and liquidity hadn’t been updated (they still haven’t as I’m writing this).

But I was hooked anyway.

I put in a few bucks to check all the contracts were functioning.

All good.

I harvested some fresh 🌊 AQUA and grinned in delight.

Time to go all in.

Tsunami waves?

I moved my $4k worth of funds from an old farm and turned it into fresh AQUA-BTCB LP tokens.

As soon as my funds hit Aquaswap, they started generating new AQUA.

🌊 AQUA to Harvest updated every few seconds:
$0.14, $0.89, $1.35… $15,89… $47.92…

I watched as my farmer’s dreams began to materialize.

How long I had waited for this moment! Never before in my farming career had I seen such gains.

Every time $50 dollars of 🌊 AQUA was ready for harvest, I got in my tractor and scooped it all up.

Then I reinvested it into AQUA-BTCB LP tokens and put it back to work.


Aquaswap’s TVL was growing over $400,000. My calculations told me that real daily APR was around 40%.

If I compounded the fruits of my labour every hour, that interest rate could reach around 47% daily.

Imagine if I could turn my $4k worth of crops into $5.6k+ worth of fresh AQUA?

What if I reinvested my profits to the point where I was netting $10 of AQUA per second?

It would cause a tsunami of fresh gains!

As my dreams grew bigger, my eyelids were getting heavier. It had been a rollercoaster of a day.

I was sure that TVL would continue to build, and AQUA would make gains. There wasn’t much point harvesting every hour if AQUA pumped anyway. I could do that in the morning.

Time to sleep.

A degen is born

I rose late, groggy from the revolutionary day before.

How I longed to see another $1.6k added to my crops.

Flipping open my laptop, I glanced at the token price from the night before.

🌊 $2.72

The number flickered as my internet connected.

🌊 $0.54

In the span of 9 hours or so, TVL had dropped from over $400,000 to just above $100,000.

Fresh AQUA tokens were now rotting from the exodus.

I removed my liquidity. The grim reaper of impermanent loss chuckled as I counted my crops:


My farming capital had been cut in half.

Please welcome BSC’s newest degen. Yours truly.

This is not investment advice, please DYOR.