Exploring New Horizons
Turning a new chapter in life often brings reflection and growth. After spending over 20 years in engineering leadership, I felt a yearning for something more — a desire to connect deeply with myself and others. This reflection led me to an exciting yet daunting decision: to explore the world of psychology and mental health.
I am planning to take some psychology courses from a community college starting in September. I’ve also applied for a Post Graduate Program in Artificial Intelligence for Leaders. I hope this will help me decide whether to switch to psychology to help my community by building human connections and doing research around mental health, or if I want to use this knowledge to continue my career in engineering and revolutionize mental health care by integrating AI with psychology.
This decision is tough and creates a lot of uncertainty. Being good at my current job as an Engineering Leader at Headspace, with over 20 years of experience and a strong track record of leading impactful projects, makes it even harder to make such a big decision. I am constantly weighing the benefits of both paths and wondering where I can make the most impact.
To help myself, I plan to start a new blog to journal my journey towards mental health, discovery, and my new interest in psychology. I don’t know where this journey will take me, but I want to document everything so that I can reflect on the knowledge I’ve gained and not feel disappointed at the end.
Reflecting on the Last 60 Days
My journey began with a period of reflection, which made me realize how much I had grown professionally and personally. Over the years, I’ve dabbled in meditation, particularly with Isha Kriya, which has been a lifeline during periods of anxiety. Routine has always been my anchor, and this practice gave me the structure and hope I needed. Motivational, spiritual, and life lesson videos became my go-to resources, helping me understand myself better and find inspiration.
This year, I took an unprecedented pause from my routine. I realized that constantly trying to emulate others was causing more anxiety. The race to be like someone else left me feeling miserable when I fell short. So, I decided to stop pushing myself and simply observe. I did only what I genuinely wanted to do, and surprisingly, this led to a significant weight lifting off my shoulders. I was doing less but achieving the same results.
A New Beginning with Headspace
This year during my birthday, I casually opened the Headspace app, which had been on my phone for four years. Despite using it daily for testing, I had never utilized its actual functionality. For some reason, I decided to meditate with Andy’s 365. Sixty days later, I am grateful for this decision. It took me four years to try something that was right next to me, and it has been transformative.
A pivotal moment came during a family dinner with my husband and my dog. I had been feeling overwhelmed and unsure about my future. My mind was racing, but I decided to take a moment and focus on my breath, just as I had learned from Headspace. As I became more present, I started talking about mindfulness and what I have been learning with Andy. I realized how much I had been missing out on these simple, yet important moments. The laughter, the stories, the connections — they all started to become clearer and more meaningful. It was a small but significant shift in perspective that made me appreciate the power of mindfulness in everyday life.
I learned the importance of being aware of my feelings and emotions, and being present throughout the day, not just during a single exercise. This newfound awareness has improved my relationships and given me a better perspective on daily life. Andy’s prompts encouraged me to think about what I’m grateful for, which has positively impacted my mood and outlook.
Discovering Joy
My husband noticed the change in me and gifted me “The Book of Joy” by the Dalai Lama. This book has been a revelation, aligning with the teachings of Andy, who is a former Tibetan Buddhist monk. The philosophies of mind, soul, and body resonated deeply with what I had learned in Isha Kriya. Everything seemed to be coming full circle.
In these 60 days, I noticed many more intersections among these teachings. Whether it’s because I’m more aware now or my mind is seeking connections, these realizations have fueled my desire to learn more about human psychology and connections. This realization has also rekindled my excitement about learning, making me eager to dive into the upcoming psychology courses and AI program.
Reading “The Book of Joy” has also inspired me to adopt a more joyful mindset in my daily life. I’ve started practicing gratitude more intentionally, which has brought a sense of peace and contentment. It’s amazing how focusing on the positive aspects of life, even the small things, can transform your outlook. I’ve also been sharing these insights with my family, and we’ve all noticed a positive shift in our household dynamic. It’s been a wonderful experience to grow together and support each other’s journey towards greater joy and mindfulness.
Embracing the Unknown
I’ve decided to take this journey without knowing where it will lead me, learning as I go without any expectations. For someone who usually knows the destination before starting any journey, this is both daunting and exhilarating. I’m learning to embrace the unknown and trust the process, which is a significant shift in mindset for me.
One of the most powerful moments during this transition was realizing how much I was missing by not being present. In the past, I was always planning, always thinking ahead. This made me efficient but also disconnected from the present moment. Through my new mindfulness practice, I’ve learned to appreciate the small things — like a peaceful morning walk or a quiet moment with a loved one. These moments have become my grounding points, reminding me why this exploration into psychology feels so right.
I’ve also started journaling more regularly, capturing not just my thoughts but also my emotional responses to different experiences. This practice has been incredibly insightful, helping me track my growth and see patterns in my thinking and behavior. It’s a simple yet powerful tool that has added depth to my self-reflection.
As I continue this journey, I plan to share more personal stories, experiences, and lessons learned. Whether it’s a meditation technique that helped me through a tough day or an insight from a psychology course that reshaped my thinking, I hope these stories will resonate with others facing similar crossroads.
Thank you for being part of this journey. I would love to hear your thoughts and advice. Sharing this experience with others who might be going through similar crossroads makes it all the more meaningful.
– Swapna
“If your mind is so powerful to create so much mystery for you, it can also create joy for you.” — Dalai Lama.
