I Used to Be a Toxic Person — This Is How I Changed
This is personal account of hitting rock bottom and bouncing up
“You shouldn’t be mad at this. You are making both of us miserable now.”
If you have ever been in a relationship with a toxic, manipulative person, you probably heard that phrase plenty of times.
“Why are you making a big deal out of this?”, is another phrase commonly used by toxic partners.
Guilt trapping and blame shifting are two common methods used by toxic people to make you feel distorted and stop confronting them.
I know this because I used to use these methods whenever my partner talked to me about something she didn’t like in our relationship.
I would always make it her fault some way or the other. I could also debate for hours at a time, denying any wrongdoing from my side, and insisting that she misunderstood what I did or said.
Using manipulation to avoid blame was something that came to me naturally. I didn’t plan the conversations, nor did I ever think of what I would say in case I was confronted. I just improvised on the spot.
Lies on top of lies. Denials. Counter-accusations. Lashing out with hurtful words. I did all that, and I take pride in none of it.
